There’s something wrong with Esther. Duh. Look at her. Looks like she just back from kicking sand in God’s face.
Orphan is the latest Dark Castle film which stars Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, and CCH POUNDER and is the return to horror for director Jaime Collet-Serra after the odd choice of helming Goal II: Living the Dream (alternate title: Goal II: Tying Up All The Important Plotlines of Goal I). Serra did the surprisingly decent House of Wax for Dark Castle, a movie which had the good sense to annihilate Paris Hilton and give Brian Van Holt a meaty role. I love that guy.
The plot involves a husband and wife who lose their child and in turn adopt Esther, who is a total asshole pyschopath bitch kid jerk. Hijinks ensue.
Wanna see it early, Atlanteans? Well, here’s your chance. Answer the following three questions to the best of your ability and don’t forget to include your name and mailing address. Passes are good for ONE PERSON ONLY, so if you want to bring a date make sure to specify (MAX IS TWO, SO DON’T BE A GREEDY MOVIE PIG) by including your guest’s name with your entry.
1. What’s the scariest killer kid movie ever?
2. What if David Cronenberg made your home movies? Then what?
3. Sarah Silverman recently Twittered my very favorite tweet ever: “Hey, is it considered molestation if the child makes the first move? I’m gonna need a quick answer on this.” Please answer the question to the best of your abilities.