AND NOW WE HAVE COMPETING MOVIES BASED ON THE WORK OF MILTON

I have to be a little bit confused here. I know that we’ve brought you some coverage of a film version of John Milton’s Paradise Lost, but I honestly don’t know which version it was. Or if it was both versions and we didn’t realize there were two different takes on the same 17th century work of religious lit.

But yeah, there are two movies based on Paradise Lost in the works. Milton’s epic poem (which, despite the image with this article, is not about a loft) has long been the basis of comic book stories that appeal to goths and has served as the metaphorical underpinnings of the entire Beethoven franchise (although I really think it becomes too on the nose in Beethoven’s 4th: Better to Chew Shoes In Hell Than Urinate on the PeePee Pad in Heaven), but as far as I know (and as far as those blokes at Wikipedia can tell me) these would be the first movie versions of the tale of Lucifer’s fall from grace.

The version that prompted this story is being produced by Martin Poll, the producer of The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing, The Lion in Winter and fucking Nighthawks. If you think Poll sounds like an old dude, you’d be right, and he’s been trying to get Paradise Lost made since the 60s. Now that Legendary Films is mounting a possibly 3D version helmed by Christian filmmaker Scott Derickson*, Poll’s finally got people willing to fund his 30 million dollar indie vision.

Arthur Penn was going to direct this at one point**, but dropped out. While Poll has some people I never heard of cast to play Adam and Eve (The Hollywood Reporter has them listed as David Dunham and Patricia Li Bryan), he hopes to get a star to play Satan.

* for the record the only reason I bring his faith up is because I wonder if being a serious Christian will get in the way of Derrickson giving the devil his due in his adaptation. Lucifer needs to be sympathetic.

** I just realized that Penn & Teller Get Killed was Penn’s last theatrical feature. Jesus. I like that film (as far as I remember. Haven’t seen it in decades. Great ending!), but what a way to end a career that included Bonnie & Clyde.