I recently read Steve Martin’s autobiography, Born Standing Up, and was pleasantly reminded of how funny the comic is/was. I also began to understand the roots of his current run of mainstream movies… but understanding is not quite the same as accepting. And even the understanding part is wearing a little thin with the latest announcement that Martin has signed up for yet another movie with Father of the Bride(s) director Nancy Meyers. This coming on the heels of a woefully unneeded Pink Panther 2.

The fact that Meyers wrote and directed the film fills me with nothing but horror. However, if there is a silver lining to this cloud of middle of the road hackdom, it’s that Alec Baldwin will be playing opposite Martin as they both vie for the love of Meryl Streep*. Might Baldwin bring out something great in Martin, something that’s been laying dormant (on screen) since 1999’s Bowfinger? Probably not, but this is the only hope I have.

Steve, please come home to us. Didn’t looking through your old things, revisiting your old comedy, spark any interest in you in actually being funny again? In not just making mall junk food for a paycheck? Or are the movies how you pay the bills, and you have some writing project percolating? If that’s the case, please find another way to pay the bills – perhaps a house painting gig, or maybe freelance accounting – since this shit is just hurting me.

*yes, this movie is obviously sponsored by the AARP.