Eli Roth’s film festival at the New Beverly Cinema, the Greats of Roth, got off to a fan-fucking-tastic start tonight with a double feature of Torso and Pieces, a movie I had not seen in twenty years and that was even better than I remembered (and I remembered it as one of the great horror movies of the 80s). Following in Edgar Wright’s festival footsteps is not easy, especially when your opening double bill is made up of movies as non-mainstream as these two. I was one of the only people in my group – which included people who make their living in the horror film industry! – who had seen Pieces, and I think almost all of us were virgins to Torso (CHUD message board stalwart Slater may have seen it before, if I recall). It turns out that LA is a town that will turn out for even the more obscure movies, as Eli’s first night was packed with bloodthirsty fans. Also spotted was Clu and John Gulager, Edgar Wright, Hollywood Boulevard Superman* and Eli Roth’s mom and dad (Eli said that this was the second time he has seen Pieces with his parents. They’ve been at other New Bev screenings in the past. It’s kind of adorable).

After Eli’s opening remarks (in which he revealed that Scott Baio Is 46 And Appearing For the Screening of Zapped on Saturday), the trailers began. The very first one: C.H.U.D.. After the trailer ended, Eli shouted ‘That was for you, Devin!’ How does an evening top that? Simple: with bitches and bastards.

Torso is a giallo film from 1973, and after the movie I told Aint It Cool’s Drew McWeeny that it was a perfect Butt-Numb-A-Thon 3AM film; it starts off slow and sort of puts you to sleep and then it gets completely insane at the end. The audience was cheering the final twenty minutes non-stop, and Edgar Wright told me that he was impressed with the movie because the red herrings as to the killer’s identity are predicated on the idea that all Italian men are perverts. No argument with that. Torso‘s not a great film, and we ended up seeing the American distributor’s cut, which I suspect may have been trimmed when it came to violence, but it’s that special sort of 70s Italian insanity that is an acquired taste. It also set up the night’s theme, besides killers who dismember their victims: in Torso the killer, when explaining his flimsy motive for hacking girls apart, screams ‘Bitches! Biiiiitches!’ Pieces has a glorious scene, after a girl has been graphically cut in two in a shower, where a female tennis pro/undercover cop (yes, the movie is just this good) clenches her fist and cries ‘Bastard! [dramatic pause] Baaaastard!’ Bitches and Bastards Night.

Torso was a warm up for Pieces. I am jealous of Eli Roth not because he is richer than me and certainly gets more and better ass than I do** but because he got to show a huge number of people one of the great unseen horror movie gems. You know that feeling of sitting a friend down on the couch and making them watch a movie you know they’ll love? Eli got to do that with a whole theater full of people. The glorious gorehounds of Grindhouse Releasing are putting Pieces out on DVD in a couple of months (the print we saw was the new one they struck for the DVD. Sage Stallone was in attendance, filming the audience. I imagine this will show up on the disc), so I don’t want to ruin it as you’ll have a chance to see it soon if you haven’t already, but Pieces was a movie that transfixed me as a kid and is ten times better as an adult. The movie is relentless with the violence, starting with a kid graphically and repeatedly putting an axe in his mom’s skull and going on through a number of chainsaw kills, many in loving detail. The film rarely slows down, and when it does it’s to showcase some excessive nudity (including the cock of star Ian Sera, better known to many as Rick from MST3K classic The Pod People. Trumpy has a whole new meaning now) and wonderfully shoddy filmmaking – at one point someone rings a doorbell that is quite clearly a light switch. The script, co-written by Italian sleaze genius Joe D’Amato (Porno Holocaust), is so terrible that it almost feels tongue in cheek. That seems to be what Paul L. Smith, best known as Bluto from Robert Altman’s Popeye, thinks, as he spends the entire film giving everyone a hilarious stinkeye. Every second that Smith is on screen is greatness.

Pieces is a movie that shouldn’t be as good as it is, and it just keeps building. The film ends in two shock moments that had half the crowd on their feet cheering – being able to top the previous insane and gruesome 90 minutes is no simple feat, but Pieces carries it off with aplomb. Between Eli spotlighting it and Grindhouse Releasing doing what I assume will be one of their customary terrific DVDs, Pieces may – after twenty five years! – finally take its place among the other towering classics of exploitation.

The Greats of Roth is just getting underway. You can still see Torso and Pieces for the next two days. On Wednesday Eli is showing Mother’s Day – he has the only print in America! – and director Charles Kaufman will be in attendance. The second film that night will be Creepshow, and Eli is promising a special surprise short after that. On Friday it’s Carrie and Zapped with PJ Soles in attendance. On Saturday the order is reversed and Scott Baio will be at the New Bev. Apparently Zapped is a scene for scene remake of Carrie; I’ve seen Zapped several times but this never crossed my mind, so I am excited to find out the truth. Then Sunday (but you’ll probably go Monday, as Sunday is the Oscars) is the double bill of the obscure futuristic musical The Apple and longtime Butt-Numb-A-Thon trailer fave Stunt Rock; I am fucking DYING to see that movie (click here for the awesome trailer). Wednesday the 27th will see The Blair Witch Project teamed with Cannibal Holocaust. I may skip that, as I sort of hate Blair Witch and have seen Cannibal Holocaust 1 million times, but Eli only has that film for one night on Thursday is substituting Cannibal Ferox, aka Make Them Die Slowly. I may show for that, if only to bask in a woman getting hung by hooks through her breasts. I actually saw Ferox first; it’s Umberto Lenzi’s rip-off of Holocaust, which was really riding the wave started by Lenzi’s The Man From Deep River. There was a rivalry between Lenzi and Holocaust director Ruggero Deodato, so it’s cool to see the one film subbing for the other. Finally, Friday the 29th will have the double bill of Bachelor Party and Caddyshack. I don’t even want to know you if you skip this one.

Click here for all the details at Eli Roth’s MySpace blog. And as always click here for the New Beverly’s schedule – upcoming films include Friday the 13th Part IV, Funhouse, Maniac and A Hard Day’s Night. I hope to see you guys out at these films – the first night was an absolute blast, and I love how Eli has programmed some really odd and often obscure movies.

*I <3 you, Hollywood Boulevard Superman

** Well, OK, for that too