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STUDIO: Phase Four Films
MSRP: $24.98
RATED: R
RUNNING TIME: 90 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Behind the Scenes
• Trailer
The Pitch
A woman starts seeing visions that could solve a gruesome murder, or not.
The Humans
Directed by Richard Gabai, starring Natalie Zea, Sean Patrick Flanery, Adam Baldwin, and Max Perlich.
The Nutshell
Take a bunch of plot points and characters that are completely pointless, throw in some mysterious visions about a stabbing, tack on a sex scene, then spit in the audience’s face. This is the formula used to make the utterly terrible DTV thriller Insight, in which a nurse sets out to play detective and a detective sets out to bang the nurse.
The Lowdown
She looks confused throughout the entire film.
It’s tough to pinpoint exactly where InSight (or In/Sight as the opening credits would lead you to believe) flies off the rails and nosedives into Total Mess Town. If I were a betting man, I’d put my money down around the two-minute mark though. Justified‘s Natalie Zea plays a nurse named Kaitlyn. A woman with multiple stab wounds is rushed into surgery and as the doctor is about to defibrillate, the dying victim looks into Kaitlyn’s eyes and says “He loved me.” Then Kaitlyn is accidentally shocked by the paddles and wakes up in a hospital room without any knowledge of what the hell happened.
That beginning is pretty cool. It sets us up for a mystery with fun supernatural elements. Unfortunately, the movie frequently sets us up for what should be a good time, then it knocks the ice cream cone out of our hands and pretends to steal our nose. This movie is that kind of asshole.
Kaitlyn’s connection with the female pin-cushion gives her “visions” in which she gets clues as to who the murderer is. This leads her to Christopher Lloyd’s apartment where he sweats a lot and aggressively tries to make her a TV dinner. It’s impossible to separate Lloyd the man from the roles he plays, so his bit here is pretty damn distracting and (surprise!) pointless. So many scenes and characters in this movie are pointless. Like Lloyd or the victim’s ex-boyfriend who’s a DJ. We know he’s a DJ because he says how he used to play the victim his “tracks,” then there’s a scene of him deejaying later on for no goddamn reason.
Christopher Lloyd seriously asks if he can make her a TV dinner three times in this scene. It’s the best.
While Kaitlyn snoops around (and brazenly abandons her nursing duties), Detective Sean Patrick Flanery is also investigating the murder. He’s doing a real shitty job – spending most of the time brooding at his desk. His partner is played by character actor Max Perlich, who had a great part on the last two seasons of Justified. I shit you not, the whole time I honestly thought Perlich’s character was a ghost. I thought that was going to be a twist. He has one obscenely bloodshot eye and dresses like Philip Marlowe, like a ghost from the ’40s. “Maybe Det. Flanery has visions too, like Kaitlyn,” I thought. But I guess he’s a real cop who just likes dressing like he’s kidding around.
Kaitlyn and Det. Flanery start working as a team so they can gave sex. They eat Chinese food and drink a lotta wine before getting under the sheets and I don’t know about you, but I certainly can’t get down after that kind of meal. It’s disgusting. Luckily the sexxx scene doesn’t last long and the two quickly get back to not solving the case.
The “twist” of In/Sigh/T is far more repulsive because it negates a ton of elements the film makes a major deal about earlier on. Like how Kaitlyn is zapped by the defibrillator and starts having visions – that actually doesn’t matter because homegirl was already seeing shit before that! Turns out she’s been hallucinating that her dead mother is still alive. I’d consider this a spoiler but this movie is spoiled to begin with. The killer turns out to be some slob that is never in the film before the shot of him being brought in.
Detective Mope
I don’t mind that the killer was a nobody, but the rest of the film’s “mystery” doesn’t make up for it. Filmmaker Richard Gabai (Virtual Girl 2: Virtual Vegas) simply presents a bunch of boring plot points that go nowhere and don’t matter at all. Natalie Zea does fine as Kaitlyn – all she has to do is look confused the whole time. She’s nails that shit. Sean Patrick Flanery (Powder) just mopes through the whole film. The rest of the cast is entirely forgettable, even Adam Baldwin (My Bodyguard) who usually makes some waves with his presence alone. From the story to the actors this movie is like one big shrug.
The nicest thing I can say about I/Nsig/Ht is that it the pace is breakneck, so when the credits kick in you don’t feel like you’ve wasted too much of your life. But I recommend you save yourself the 90 minutes by just avoiding this dogshit movie.
The Package
Max Perlich: not a ghost.
There’s a trailer and a 5-minute “behind the scenes” that features more clips from the film than anything else.
Rating: Out of a Possible 5 Stars
