Yesterday afternoon when I checked my e-mail, I recieved a forwarded message from a lady I used to work with. After scrolling through the some 3000 addresses the message had been sent to before me, I found the actual message. It made a comparison between illegal immigration and someone breaking into your home. The great thing is that after every few lines of text was a row of animated GIF’s of smiley faces, rainbows, puppies, kittens, and Mexicans climbing fences. Considering someone took three seconds out of their day to forward this to me and everyone else they’ve ever met, the least I could do is take five minutes to read what had to be an important message about the evil illegal immigrants. Now, I’ll be the first to say that I think anyone moving to another country who is capable of doing so should go through the legal channels to do so. But what good does an e-mail forward do? Are we going to print these e-mails out and put them up on the fence between the U.S. and Mexico? Will the potential illegals see the animated GIF’s of their pants snagging on the fence and realize they’re not welcome here? Or maybe the forward was meant to rile up office workers into forming militias to assist the border patrol. I really don’t know what outcome they hoped to achieve from the e-mail.
After reading the entire thing about how these immigrants are taking jobs away from us by working cheaper and not paying taxes, I decided to take action against the true evil that has been plaguing my life. Imagine a life where you never have to live with the guilt of your friends thinking you don’t love Jesus because you didn’t pass on a sappy story, or informing every single woman you know of the ways a serial killer could nab her in the grocery store parking lot. Imagine not reading the same lousy joke four times. Imagine not being told to boycott a business because they say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” like a “true Amurican”. Now you’re imagining the good life I plan to start enjoying as soon as I can find an illegal immigrant to work as my personal spam filter, that is unless it’s a job that an American citizen would want.