Remember the post I did on the Post-Rapture message and pet care services? Well I stumbled across another great example of that kind of strange, scary Christian-think and I think you all will get a kick out of it (unless your of the I-don’t-believe-in-the-dinosaurs-despite-the-large-body-of-scientific-evidence-besides-all-scientists-are-blaspheming-liars ilk.

If that’s the case I honestly don’t think you should read this or ever come back to my blog again. It’s just liable to offend you.

This is a link to a product currently being offered on Follow the link and scroll down to read the description of the film. I am a big fan of the original House by the cemetary and while looking for ‘if you liked this you’ll love this’ advice on the internet I was intrigued when I saw the title, ‘HOUSE BY THE CEMETARY – REVISITED’.

Okay, go ahead and follow that link. As always, I’ll be here when you get back.


Back? Okay, now I wish I could say I have seen this. I’m definitely going to order it when I have some disposable income, but of course these days while half a tank of gas is $40 that’s not really on the horizon. And I’m one who thinks that ain’t going away any time soon (ever) so I guess I’ll just have to start making more money. Maybe I could re-edit other classic horror flicks for the hard core Christians?

Anyone know what that pays? Let me guess, favors in judgement, right? Well, I for one would rather remain behind with our two cats than be drawn up into the sky in the event of rapture, but that’s just me…

Anyway, I’m wandering.  So while you were gone I decided to research this Jeff Teck guy credited on the Amazon link as the editor responsible for the ‘Christian version’ of ‘House…’. First off, here’s a link to a website for MCHURCH, which is apparently some kind of internet church hellbent on bringing Jesus to the mentally disabled.

Read their mission statement at the top. Lot’s of links here to to what they’ve done to ‘reach’ these folks.

Here’s the link to the video clip of House by the cemetary, Christian-style.

– unfortunately it’s not much and it just serves to arouse my curiosity even more as to what liberties they must have taken to make anything about this movie classifiable as ‘Christian’. I’m betting it was mostly a matter of providing new dialogue overdubs, so that the Dr. Boyle character is no longer a doctor trying to finish a dead collegue’s research but a priest attempting to exorcise a haunted house. That’s just a hunch, but really, what else could they do short of re-filming it. I doubt, for example, that in the scene where Dr. Boyle has to stab the bat attacking him and his family they re-edited it to show him letting it fly free into the night air instead of stabbing the fuck out of it and bathing his wife and son in it’s blood?

Or maybe. That would be pretty funny actually.

If anyone has seen this, please chime in. Otherwise, I’ll post a review and some specifics once I see it, as I have just discovered I may be able to download it and watch it.

Never ceases to amaze me. And I thought Christian death metal was stupid…