"Do...not...want."

Remember only a short while ago when Darren Aronofsky was going to possibly put amazing vitality into the stagnant, decaying piece of history known as Robocop: The Remake?

Oh how time puts its pecker into good things.

Now we’re stuck with The Killing‘s mumbling nightmare Joel Kinnaman as the ill-fated Alex Murphy and untested Brazilian action man José Padilha at the helm.

Now they’ve added Gary Oldman. Not as Clarence Boddicker, unfortunately. Nope. As a scientist, per The Hollywood Reporter. Even though Oldman pretty much played a Boddicker-alike in The Professional. Even though that would warrant the admission price.

So far, this just doesn’t seem all that thrilling. And Kinnaman is a blight.

Insert your random gobbedlygook about remakes and sanctity and all that shit but in the wake of Robocops 2 and 3 there’s no purity in the franchise to worry about. This is a slam dunk of a fun remake if handled with even a modicum of class.

We shall see. So far Mr. Oldman is a nice complement but hardly reason to start getting jazzed about this.