• Inside the Actors Studio purists (note: there is not actually such a thing) have criticized host James Lipton for featuring more and more stand-up comedians on his show in recent years. I disagree – 95 percent of stand-up comedy is acting, it is performance, and since Ken Burns has abandoned his stand-up documentary series in favor of yet another one about World War II, the insights Lipton’s guests give fans of stand-up are invaluable. This is a long-winded way of saying Chris Rock is going to be the latest stand-up and actor to appear on Inside the Actors Studio, and it’s a two-hour episode. I think Rock is one of the funniest people on the planet, and while I wish he’d do more stand-up, you can be sure I’ll be watching. Inside the Actors Studio airs on Monday from 8-10 PM.
  • It looks like plans for my most anticipated sequel in years, The Hebrew Hammer vs. Hitler, have fallen through – Adam Goldberg signed to star in ABC’s pilot Marlowe. The present-day procedural drama is based on Raymond Chandler’s Phillip Marlowe character and features Goldberg as an LAPD detective who helps the titular private investigator. Despite meaty roles in Dazed and Confused, Saving Private Ryan, and A Beautiful Mind, Goldberg is one of those always-good supporting actors who haven’t broken through yet to mass commercial appeal. Let’s hope that the powerhouse that is ABC can remedy that.
  • Last week, the THUD News Roundup reported that Nicole Kidman (Keith Urban is way too talented to be known as  “Mr. Nicole Kidman”, by the way) would be guest starring on the fifth season of FX’s Nip/Tuck. Now, series creator Ryan Murphy has revealed two of the other “big names” slated for guest spots on the plastic surgery opus: Madonna and (perky lil’) Sandra Bullock. Though he announced the stars at the Museum of Television & Radio’s Paley Festival, Murphy didn’t say what roles they’d be playing. My guess? Madonna plays a woman with no acting talent, and Sandra Bullock plays a villain, because, you know, it’s so out of character for her. (Except then she falls on her ass and learns a valuable lesson about how ugly people are people, too.)
  • Sigourney Weaver signed up last week to star as the first celebrity stripper, Gypsy Rose Lee, in the HBO film Gypsy and Me. The film is based on the memoir My G String Mother: At Home and Backstage with Gypsy Rose Lee, written by her son Erik Lee Preminger. The movie, executive produced by Weaver and Dreamgirls producer Lawrence Mark, takes place in the 1950s, when Lee kept up a lavish lifestyle by telling her life story in a best-selling memoir and the legendary musical Gypsy based on that memoir. Listen up, HBO: Peter Sarsgaard for Stephen Sondheim (who wrote Gypsy’s lyrics). Make it happen.
  • Kate Burton, whose role on Grey’s Anatomy can charitably be described as a bitch on wheels (and really, I mean that in the best way possible), is going from torturing her daughter (who deserved it) to torturing law clerks. The Tony nominee and Big Trouble In Little China costar signed last week to star in FOX’s pilot Supreme Courtships. The series sounds pretty much like Grey’s Anatomy goes to law school – it’s a “comedy drama” focusing on six Supreme Court clerks and the judges they work for – and it also stars always-a-champion Kurtwood Smith. I don’t like the concept, but I’d watch anything with Smith in it at least once. So sign me up.
  • Shannon Lucio, best known as one of the romantic rivals from The O.C. who was far more interesting than the waste of space that was Mischa Barton, has signed onto CBS’s pilot I Can’t Believe It’s Not Angel…oh, I mean Twilight. Lucio will play a hotshot investigative reporter (shades of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!) who becomes close to a private investigator/vampire.  I’m going to say this right now: I think Shannon Lucio’s hot. I think she’s so hot that I took the time to order Spring Break Shark Attack from Netflix, and, even worse, sit through the 80 minutes of Spring Break Shark Attack simply because she was in it. Make of that what you will.