• I guess her marriage to Tom Cruise made Nicole Kidman a fan of fakery, because she’s guest-starring on the fifth season of Nip/Tuck. The Oscar-winning Kidman, who met Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy on the set of their film Need, asked the (warden) pope of plastic surgery drama to write her a part on the show. Because Murphy is such a fan of originality, he decided to make Kidman into a patient in need of nasal surgery. Because, you know, she was in that movie where she had the fugly nose. Is Mark Wahlberg reprising his role as Dirk Diggler next?
  • Comedy legend (I’m not kidding) Fred Willard will be joining darling of the right Patricia Heaton and darling of X-Men fanboys Kelsey Grammer on Action News, reports Variety. Willard, best known for his roles in the Christopher Guest comedies For Your Consideration and Best in Show, will play a sports anchor on the FOX sitcom. I guess he lost out on the lead role in Woolly Bear Man: The Dick Goddard Story, so this is the next best thing.
  • I remember thinking Madchen Amick was totally hot in the remake of Fantasy Island (you know, the one with the awesome Malcolm McDowell), but I’m chalking that one up to the same nostalgia that made me think Newsies was a good movie. Speaking of musicals, Amick’s going to be in Viva Laughlin!, the CBS pilot about a man opening a casino in Laughlin, Nevada – with singing! Amick will play the wife of the casino mastermind, and Laughlin! (based on a BBC series) also guest-stars Hugh Jackman. You don’t want to miss this one if it makes it to air.
  • Almost every day it seems like I’m reporting on what well-known and/or talented actor will be guest-starring on Grey’s Anatomy next – it’s become the show for people who don’t want to play crazy or dead (or dead crazy) on Law & Order. The latest visitor to Seattle Grace is Academy Award-nominee Shohreh Agadashloo, who plays Helen Crawford in the episode airing Thursday, March 15th on ABC. Which doctor will she form a relationship with before kicking the bucket, asks I? I’m guessing Bailey.
  • It looks like Vincent Pastore, best known for playing Big Pussy on The Sopranos really is a big…yeah, and that one’s too easy. After a week of intense training, Pastore has dropped out of ABC’s Dancing With The Stars. Pastore, who’s sixty and has a history of heart trouble, said “Unable to put forth my best effort, I felt it appropriate to step aside and give someone else the opportunity.” Dancing With The Stars begins its fourth season on March 19th on ABC.
  • Do you think your Christopher Walken impression is good? What about your Alan Arkin? Or your Shatner? Is your Chris Rock voice better than Michael Scott’s? Now, do you think you have the best Walken/Arkin/Shatner/Rock impression…in America? If so, then you should answer the open calls for ABC’s new “alternative series” The Next Best Thing: Who Is The Greatest Celebrity Impersonator? when the show begins production on March 5th. Here are the locations: March 5-6-Los Angeles: Tribune Studios; March 11-12-Las Vegas; Rain Nightclub, Palms Casino; March 20-21-New York: AMV Unitel Studios; March 28-29-Orlando: Disney MGM Studios, Sounds Dangerous Theatre. As a guy who thinks the best part of Inside The Actors Studio is when Lipton gets his guests to do impressions, I’m going to watch at least the pilot. We’ll see how long it takes before the horrible Dr. Evils and the sub-par Joe Pescis make me want to kill myself.