http://www.chud.com/graphics4/namor.jpgThe next Marvel movie has been announced, and it’s going to be… Sub-Mariner. Yes, one of Marvel’s oldest characters and perennially one of the company’s third stringers, Namor will be coming to screens in all his green Speedo and nothing else glory.

And it’s happening soon – Jonathan Mostow, who you may recall as the director of Terminator 3: Essentially the Same Thing as the Last One But Not as Good, has “cleared his slate” to write and direct Sub-Mariner next. Oh no, he’s given up on Swiss Family Robinson! Mostow of course has lots of water experience – he directed U-571, the greatest Jon Bon Jovi submarine film ever.

In the film Namor will discover that he’s from the undersea kingdom of Atlantis and that he’s the key player in a coming war between Atlantis and the surface world. He needs to figure out how to bring peace between the two before the Pride Parade, because he’s totally scheduled to dance on one of the floats.

In the comics Namor is super-strong, breathes underwater and wants to screw Sue Storm. He also has a big square head and, I swear to god, tiny wings on his ankles that allow him to fly. Namor’s biggest weakness has always been his inability to keep his comic books getting cancelled.