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STUDIO: Brentwood Home Video
MSRP: $14.98
RATED: R
RUNNING TIME: 88 minutes/ 87 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• None
The Pitch
Moronic teenagers disturb sacred grave sites for a laugh and act surprised when vengeful corpses reanimate and tear out their throats.
The Humans
Hugo Stieglitz, Usi Velasco, Fernando Almada and Edna Bolkan.
The Nutshell
Both films in this set are essentially the same film. In Cemetery of Terror, a group of moronic teens get bored and decide to play Dungeons and Dragons in a cemetery. To make their demon summoning a more authentic experience, they steal the corpse of a satanic serial killer from the morgue and try to raise him from the dead by reading from a book. Can you guess what the serial killer does once he is reanimated? If you guessed serial killing, you’re correct!
You could tell it was that time of the month when her hatchet wound got bloody.
Grave Robbers concerns a group of moronic teens who get their kicks by robbing graves, obviously. Unfortunately for them, they disturb the grave of a satanic murderer with a magic axe. He returns from the dead and proceeds to chop many of them up, with the exception of one teen who reminds him of his lady love. Instead of killing her, he wants to pour her a nice glass of red wine, sit her down by the fire and impregnate her with the spawn of Satan. He’s a romantic at heart.
The Package
Apparently neither of these two cinematic treasures played on drive-in screens outside of Mexico and as such neither have English dubs. The audio for both films is in the original Spanish with the option to enable English subtitles available. The translations are moderately good with an odd screw up here or there. It’s not like anyone is going to be a real stickler for quality when it comes to Spanish slasher films.
The man baby demon spawn of Ant claims the life of spanish Chris Kattan.
Unlike the other Crypt of Terror two-pack, no special features are included for either film. No still galleries, no trailers and no cut footage. Even some generic trailers from other Brentwood releases would have been appreciated.
The Lowdown
The two films in this collection are both from the exact same generic slasher mold as most films were in the ‘80s. If you stuck Jason Voorhees in place of the satanic killers in these films you’d barely notice a difference at all. The one slight difference that comes as a welcome surprise is the gory deaths that come from not having to deal with the MPAA. The favorite technique of all satanic killers seems to be the standard throat rip and the films are all too willing to show you gobs of gore falling out of neck holes.
L’eggo my Eggo!
Like most slasher films, the body count continues to rise until the magical deus ex machina capable of defeating the supernatural villain is discovered. The instrument of victory in Grave Robbers is the axe the killer was originally dispatched with and all the demons are destroyed in Cemetery of Terror by burning the book of the dead. That one sure sounds familiar.
If you’re looking for standard drive-in, B-movie gore, there are worse films you could go with. However, it’s not like there’s any real short supply of those movies in English. Reading subtitles might not be your cup of tea when all you’re really looking for are some blood and guts. Also, your chances of seeing Linnea Quigley’s tits rises 75% if you stick to domestic slashers. Do the right thing and support your country.