DVD REVIEW: PLAN B

The Pitch

“It’s Married to the Mob meets Sanjuro. Pity about the language barrier.”

The Humans

Diane Keaton (Hanging Up), Paul Sorvino (Knock Off), Maury Chaykin (Money For Nothing), Bob Balaban (2010: The Year We Make Contact), Burt Young (The Adventures of Pluto Nash), Anthony de Sando

The Nutshell

Events approaching screwball magnitude propel harebrained widow Fran (Keaton) into an accidental career as a Mob hitwoman. The catch? She doesn’t have the nerve to kill her targets (that, ahem, would be Plan ‘A’); she just hides them at her brother’s house. How long can such a ca-razy ruse hold together?

How long was this flick sitting on the shelf? Let’s just note that Natasha Lyonne is in it and she doesn’t play a hepatitic junkie. A vanity project of Keaton’s for many years, Plan B has little other reason to exist. It’s slow, stilted, self-indulgent, and further proof that Woody Allen’s films win Oscars for their actresses and not the other way round.

Of the talented cast only veteran character actor Chaykin, as Fran’s first ‘hit’, and de Sando, as a moronic henchman, earn real laughs. Chaykin simply takes over every scene he’s in, and appears to have made up most of his own dialogue. Composer Bill Tyler (Bubba Ho-Tep, Six-String Samurai) contributes a big-band jazz score that deserves better.

They say nobody intentionally sets out to make a bad movie, and director Greg Yaitanes (Cleopatra 2525, Martial Law, Nash Bridges) is one of them what says it. His commentary track sticks to technical details, occasionally acknowledging things that didn’t work or weren’t funny. Don’t cry for him—he’s doing shows like Lost and House now.

The Screen Test video shows some of the actors reading for multiple parts, which is interesting from a workshop standpoint. One of the outtakes showcases more of Chaykin’s scene-stealing. Aaaand you’re done.