If you’re anything like me you spent yesterday morning watching the Minnesota Vikings embarrassingly blow an early lead to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, completely unaware that the Emmy Awards were happening in a few hours. Then your friend’s roommate reminded you it was happening. Then you decided you didn’t give a crap either way. Then you and a lady friend ordered spicy fried rice and watched the silly horror movie Forget Me Not on Netflix Instant while the Emmys were happening. Then you woke up this morning to the excellent discovery that Peter “Boss” Dinklage, aka The Dink, snagged himself an Outstanding Supporting Actor (Drama) Emmy for his show-owning performance on Game of Thrones. And who says we don’t live in a just world?

Anyway, some other people won some stuff too.

Outstanding Comedy Series
The Big Bang Theory
Modern Family (Winner)
The Office
Parks And Recreation
30 Rock

Lame. Where is Community? And Louie should’ve at least been nominated, if not won. Booo.

Outstanding Drama Series
Boardwalk Empire
Friday Night Lights
Game Of Thrones
The Good Wife
Mad Men (Winner)

I approve. Mad Men was back in top form this past season.

Outstanding Miniseries Or Movie
Cinema Verite
Downton Abbey (Winner)
The Kennedys
Mildred Pierce
The Pillars Of The Earth
Too Big To Fail

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series
Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory (Winner)
Johnny Galecki as Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory
Matt LeBlanc as Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Louis C.K. as Louie, Louie
Steve Carell as Michael Scott, The Office
Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock

I’m not into Big Bang Theory, but people I know who enjoy it love Parsons, so whatever. Really Alec Baldwin should win every year. But that gets boring. LeBlanc was actually pretty great on Episodes.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series
Steve Buscemi as Nucky Thompson, Boardwalk Empire
Michael C. Hall as Dexter Morgan, Dexter
Kyle Chandler as Coach Eric Taylor, Friday Night Lights (Winner)
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House, House
Timothy Olyphant as Raylan Givens, Justified
Jon Hamm as Don Draper, Mad Men

Oh, man. I thought for sure this was Hamm’s year. Didn’t these people see “The Suitcase”?!

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series
Laura Linney as Cathy Jamison, The Big C
Melissa McCarthy as Molly Flynn, Mike & Molly (Winner)
Edie Falco as Jackie Peyton, Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope, Parks And Recreation
Martha Plimpton as Virginia Chance, Raising Hope
Tina Fey as Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

So McCarthy basically won for Bridesmaids, right?

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series
Connie Britton as Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights
Julianna Margulies as Alicia Florrick, The Good Wife (Winner)
Kathy Bates as Harriet “Harry” Korn, Harry’s Law
Mireille Enos as Sarah Linden, The Killing
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Elisabeth Moss as Peggy Olson, Mad Men

I wanted Moss to win. Though, to be fair, Mad Men is the only show amongst these nominees that I actually watch. What’s Harry’s Law?

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series
Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel, Glee
Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Mitchell Pritchett, Modern Family
Ed O’Neill as Jay Pritchett, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet as Cameron Tucker, Modern Family
Ty Burrell as Phil Dunphy, Modern Family (Winner)
Jon Cryer as Alan Harper, Two and a Half Men

Wow. What a colorless batch of nominees. It looks like a Disney-hogged Best Original Song nomination list from the early 90’s. That said, Ty Burrell is the best part of Modern Family.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series
Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones (Winner)
Josh Charles as Will Gardner, The Good Wife
Alan Cumming as Eli Gold, The Good Wife
Walton Goggins as Boyd Crowder, Justified
John Slattery as Roger Sterling, Mad Men
Andre Braugher as Owen, Men of a Certain Age

All hail The Dink!

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series
Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester, Glee
Betty White as Elka Ostrosky, Hot in Cleveland
Julie Bowen as Claire Dunphy, Modern Family (Winner)
Sofia Vergara as Gloria Delgado-Pritchett, Modern Family
Kristen Wiig as Various characters, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski as Jenna Maroney, 30 Rock

What? Bowen is only funny on that show because she’s paired with Ty Burrell. If someone from Modern Family was getting this award it should’ve been Vergara.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
Kelly Macdonald as Margaret Schroeder, Boardwalk Empire
Archie Panjabi as Kalinda Sharma, The Good Wife
Christine Baranski as Diane Lockhart, The Good Wife
Margo Martindale as Mags Bennett, Justified (Winner)
Michelle Forbes as Mitch Larsen, The Killing
Christina Hendricks as Joan Harris, Mad Men

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Edgar Ramirez as Carlos, Carlos
Greg Kinnear as John F. Kennedy, The Kennedys
Barry Pepper as Bobby Kennedy, The Kennedys (Winner)
Idris Elba as John Luther, Luther
Laurence Fishburne as Thurgood Marshall, Thurgood
William Hurt as Henry ‘Hank’ Paulson, Too Big Too Fail

So Barry Pepper has an Emmy now. Good for him.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Diane Lane as Patricia Loud, Cinema Verite
Elizabeth McGovern as Cora, Countess of Grantham, Downton Abbey
Kate Winslet as Mildred Pierce, Mildred Pierce (Winner)
Taraji P. Henson as Tiffany Rubin, Taken From Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story
Jean Marsh as Rose Buck, Upstairs Downstairs

Thank god Kate Winslet finally won an award for something, amiright? *looks around; waits for high five*

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Tom Wilkinson as Joe Kennedy, The Kennedys
Guy Pearce as Monty Beragon, Mildred Pierce (Winner)
Brian F. O’Byrne as Bert Pierce, Mildred Pierce
Paul Giamatti as Ben Bernanke, Too Big to Fail
James Woods as Richard Fuld, Too Big to Fail

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Miniseries Or A Movie
Maggie Smith as Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, Downton Abbey (Winner)
Evan Rachel Wood as Veda Pierce, Mildred Pierce
Melissa Leo as Lucy Gessler, Mildred Pierce
Mare Winningham as Ida, Mildred Pierce
Eileen Atkins as Lady Maud Holland, Upstairs, Downstairs

I guess I should really see Mildred Pierce. That’s what I’m taking away from all this. 


Outstanding directing for a miniseries, movie or dramatic special: Brian Percival, Downton Abbey
Outstanding writing for a miniseries or movie: Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey
Outstanding directing, drama: Martin Scorsese, Boardwalk Empire
Outstanding writing, drama series: Jason Katims, Friday Night Lights
Outstanding variety, music or comedy series: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Outstanding directing for a variety, music or comedy series: Don Roy King, Saturday Night Live (host: Justin Timberlake)
Outstanding writing for a variety, music or comedy series: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Outstanding reality competition: The Amazing Race
Outstanding writing for a comedy: Steve Levitan, Jeffrey Richman (“Caught in the Act”),  Modern Family
Outstanding director, comedy: Michael Alan Spiller (“Halloween”),  Modern Family