As my family and friends get flushed away from torrential downpours, I believe the show has to go on in other places. Hopefully our Northern New England contingent will be back up and being their typical Yankee selves soon, since life isn’t worth shouting about without DVDs.
Elizabeth!
Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane sing their delirious hearts out in Mel Brooks’ movie-based-on-a-play-based-on-a-movie adaptation of his Producers (read Devin’s review). The movie is over-the-top with its musical interludes, reveling in entertaining scenarios that will amuse even those with hardened Borgnine assholes. The plot has Lane’s Bialystock combining forces with Broderick’s Bloom to create a pungent Broadway flop that will drive away the audience faster than “from the creators of Three Ninjas Kick Back”. Instead that hit, Springtime for Hitler, becomes a Variety-esque boffo success. The amok that’s run throughout the film is courtesy of the characters – from Uma Thurman’s bronzed legs, Will Ferrell’s restrained Nazi sympathizer, and Roger Bart’s flaming hairstyle – but looses a bit of its luster from original stage director Susan Stroman’s straightforward style. While she’s paying homage to the extravagant musicals of days past, the plainness of her shots doesn’t quite merge with its maniac energy, which Brooks has always been adept at. Still, if you’re a fan of musicals you’ll definitely waltz away satisfied. If not, you’re probably going to loathe it like your weekly bath.
Keep it Gay – with:
– Audio commentary with Director Susan Stroman
– Some deleted scenes and outtakes
– An analysis of a scene – I wanna be a Producer
– Theatrical Trailer
Camilla Belle gets overwhelmed by technology and a mysterious man in When a Stranger Calls (read Devin’s negative review). Saving you time and money, let’s just say he’s – inside her house! The original, which by no means is a good film, at least understood its roots in modern-day horror – when people were free of STD’s and the phone wasn’t relaying your calls back to the NSA. Now that’s scary. Striking thespian Camilla Bell punches Carol Kane’s original role right in the face, preferring to deliver moaning dialogue while appearing to be ambivalent towards checking the children. She’s not pumping them out, rather just babysitting them. Simon West, who had Nicholas Cage demand you put down the bunny, makes sure to effectively bombard your belief system with a lot of seeping atmosphere and attempts to maneuver through a weak script. That should keep those young girls at the Mall you barreled through last weekend happily enraptured on their death beds.
Stop … calling … me – with:
– Audio commentary with West and his Cast
– Audio commentary with Writer Jake Wade Wall
– The making-of When a Stranger Calls
– Some deleted scenes
– Theatrical Trailer
If you’ve ever wanted to watch a film in which Johnny Knoxville actively participates in rigging the Special Olympics, then The Ringer is right up your morally suspect alley. If that appears to be something you’d actually consider yourself doing, I hope you spontaneously combust. In England. Oddly enough, The Ringer got the Special Olympics seal of approval before segueing into what I can imagine might be a tricky situation. Predominantly because I didn’t watch the film, preferring to stay leery of Farrelly Brothers exploits since their last couple of films. Allegedly, the film does present a fairly positive portrait of those participating in the games, and I can already foresee the painful amount of stupid internet .gifs that will ruin each talkback until it one day implodes. Speaking of which, Brian Cox’s patience does exactly that, as he sends Knoxville into scheming mode in order to pay him off. It’s when the competition gets wise that the plot gets moving, and my interest in even finishing off this blurb wanes supreme.
Count to potato – with:
– Audio commentary with director Barry W. Blaustein, screenwriter Ricky Blitt, producer Peter Farrelly, and actors Johnny Knoxville, Edward Barbanell and John Taylor
– Some 16 deleted scenes
– 2 featurettes (Special Olympics and Let the Games Begin – A Look at The Ringer)
– A message from Special Olympics Chairman Tim Shriver
– Theatrical Trailer
I succinctly remember there being an article a while back lamenting the fact that no one was turning out to see Carroll Ballard’s Duma. Ballard, as you might know, is no stranger to having audiences turn away from his films. Regrettable, considering everyone seems to have missed out on childhood greats like Never Cry Wolf or even Fly Away Home – leading me to believe the man loves characters sporting massive bearded growth. In Duma, the cheetah is the one popping the scruffiness, as Xan and his family discover a baby loingrabber among their lives in South Africa. As everyone grows up, so do the animalistic desires to be set free, which Xan must do with Duma (by himself no less) once his parents discover the American way of discarding their children for their pre-nuptial sex lives. I hear Duma is an honest-to-McGruff great children’s film, heavily regarding its convictions with emotional resonance and more heart than a Cardiologist’s fist.
Catch an egg – with:
– Extended scenes
– Theatrical Trailer
Dysfunctional families get another kick in the balls with Winter Passing. Ed Harris plays the Salinger-esque recluse by the oh-so subtle name of Holden, whose daughter, Zooey Deschanel, is in the business of drowning her kitten with leukemia in the East River. Hi-lar-ious! Life then gets flipped, turned upside down when a Literary Agent informs her of her famous mother’s death, asking to buy some of her love letters for the cost of pennies per day. What transpires is a trip to Michigan as Deschanel abruptly rushes into the communal living situation of her widowed father – living with a Grad student and Will Ferrell. The latter playing a troubled Christian rocker. One thing’s for sure, and that’s in Devin’s review (read it!), he calls Winter Passing a “[strangely] conventional film [that is] ashamed of its own opportunities for whimsy.” At least in the end everyone rocks out to candy canes and blowjobs, but it’s all deflated once everyone realizes they’re in Michigan.
Get Sunshine and Lollypops – with:
– A behind-the-scenes featurette
– Theatrical Trailer
It’s good to see Chan getting away from comedy to go back into pummeling bad guy’s backsides, especially if it’s in New Police Story. But unlike the older ass-kicking stuntman whose M.O. was cradling your balls before ripping them off, as Chan wants to see people take him as more of a balanced Actor instead of a former husk doing 3-D holographic internalizations. In comes the script, which is riddled with bullet holes, but has a good role for Chan to take a giant chomp out of – as his Inspector is at rock bottom; alone and bewildered like my days and nights. Climbing his way back to the top courtesy of the law-desrespectin’ criminals (lead by Joe and his Gang of Five), Chan infuses New Police Story with a dookie-load of spectacular scenes. Like the ones where he’s jumping into danger (fire!) as you would towards gulping Maker’s Mark. Jackie, on the other hand, ain’t no spring chicken anymore, so coupled with these feats of fancy he’s actually emoting like no one’s business. Does it work? At least he’s not playing second-fiddle again.
Say Hi to Uncle Bill – with:
– English subtitles
Cutesy name titling will seemingly never end. This weeks’ latest victim is Napoleon Dynamite – Like, the Best Special Edition Ever! sending several into their own vomit comet of hell. Jared Hess’ film has its moments, which are few and far between, culminating in my dislike of the entire narrative because the character Napoleon boils my blood into an epic Peter Frampton fantasy (It’s Come Alive!). Still, Hess’ Nacho Libre is ten times better and goddamned side-splitting. But his original film, which exploded at Sundance and translated into MTV and Fox Searchlight mixing the moo into the lah and giving it something of a multi-million dollar ad campaign, ricochets against the wall and dismays my thoughts with every ‘flipping sweet!’ reference. The Hessian humor might not have been my forte the first time out. The Special Edition contains a bunch of new extras spread out over 2 discs, which you’ll notice now.
Heck yes I did! – with:
– Audio commentary with Director/Co-Writer Jared Hess, Actor Jon Heder and Producer Jeremy Coon
– An all-new audio commentary with Actors Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries and Tina Majorino
– 5 Deleted/Extrended Scenes with commentary by Director/Co-Writer Jared Hess, Actor Jon Heder and Producer Jeremy Coon
– New outtakes and deleted scenes
– Audition clips
– 3 featurettes (World Premiere Jared Hess, On Location: Napoleon Dynamite, The Making of the Wedding of the Century)
– MTV promo spots
– Napoleon and Pedro sightings: clips from TV appearances
– Stills gallery
– Trailers
– Original short film Peluca with commentary by Jared Hess, Jon Heder and Jeremy Coon
Bruckheimer fans will notice the curiosity of the man bringing not one, but three Unrated Extended Editions of his most beloved films. Masterpieces like Enemy of the State, Con Air, and even Crimson Tide will ride the wave into your lives with extra Gene Hackman gooeyness and even an interesting forbearer into current events via the prophecy of Will Smith. Each film gets a deluxe extra couple of minutes (which by Tony Scott’s accord is breathtaking) for a few good men – Washingtons, that is. Be prepared for shit to blow up and scripts to detonate, since you don’t need a plot anyway when dealing with Bruckheimer/Simpson’s manly testosterone. That makes someone’s pubes frown, I’m sure of it.
There goes the Fourth Amendment – with:
– The Making of Enemy of the State featurette
– All Access: "The Showdown" (Enemy of the State)
– Deleted scenes (Enemy of the State)
– Original Theatrical Trailer (Enemy of the State)
– Sneak Peeks (Con Air’s ONLY extra)
– 2 featurettes (All Access: On The Set of Crimson Tide and Making-of Crimson Tide)
– Some deleted scenes (Crimson Tide)
Rhino sees to it that some of the first year Mystery Science Theatre 3000 goofiness is included in its Volume 9 boxed set. If you’re not a fan of the show, or too young and confused, then I don’t know why you’d plug into a site with snarkiness like the show that served it up like no other. Included are lampoonings of the greats like The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, Women of the Prehistoric Planet, The Wild Rebels, and The Sinister Urge – which should be the subtext for all who wish to join in the adventures on the Satellite of Love. Orbiting around those films, you might be able to garner a little history as well, understanding where the phrase “Hi-Keeba!” retains its use, where to purchase Wild Rebels cereal, and when the proper time to rib Ed Wood comes into play (hint: for pleasure). Besides, you’re most likely going to comb through this set “for the kicks”, which should come faster and furious-er than ever before.
Be so square, you’re a box, baby – with:
– Women of the Prehistoric Planet introduction by Irene Tsu
– The Sinister Urge introduction by Conrad Brooks
– Short hygiene film: Keeping Neat and Clean
– Bonus footage from NEVER before-seen episodes
This week isn’t like others where a million must-have titles jump out and frisk you into stabbing your own hands with your baby makin’ spear. Same goes for the ladies out there (all two of you). Instead, consider these and ask not what you can do for them, but what they can do for you.
Criterion Summer Volley
June is not the only month where some will be watching balls flying back and forth. It also is yet another awesome month for Criterion, even if it is a little short. I’m not quite familiar with A Nos Amours (out on 6.06.06), but I will be soon. Linklater fans have probably already gone through nineteen pairs of shorts with the announcement of Dazed and Confused: Criterion (on 6.06.06), and we can all relive McConaug****’s own infamous quote, lampooned into unfunniness at the hands of pop culture. Finally, June also has Dennis Muren and Jack Woods’ Equinox, which should be instantly required viewing for those interested in the genesis of Special Effects – especially since Muren was so intimately involved in ILM’s own beginnings. Plus, the movie’s great! That’s out on 6.20.06.
July brings even more churning from the Criterion Factory, with Yi Yi, Koko: A Talking Gorilla, and even Powell and Pressburger’s A Canterbury Tale rounding things out.
Killin’ It (THE LIST)
It feels like yesterday I was compiling the monthly list of upcoming DVD titles that were sure to peak or destroy your interest in humanity and/or Hollywood, and so now the time comes a-callin’ yet again. I don’t think anyone can accuse June of slowing it down, with a bunch of noteworthy titles interspersed with ones I wouldn’t even touch with a Micah-sized 21-foot pole. So, as a wise man once remarked (without proper English skills) – let do this.
P.S. Wallets are going to die when Satan alledgedly returns to Earth.
6.06.06:
Air America: The Complete Series
Angelina Jolie Collection
Big White
Bill’s Gun Shop
Black Hawk Down: Extended Cut
Boys of Baraka
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: Collector’s Edition
Charlie Chaplin: The Little Tramp Collection
Cheyenne Autum
Cheyenne: The Complete First Season
Chris Rock Show: The Complete 1st and 2nd Season
Dazed and Confused: Criterion Collection
Denzel Washington Collection
Drew Barrymore Collection 
Dr. Who: Genesis of the Daleks
Dr. Who: Revelation of the Daleks
Dumbo: Big Top Edition
Entourage: The Complete Second Season
Farewell to the King
Fast and the Furious: Franchise Collection
Firewall
F Troop: The Complete First Season
Fried Green Tomatoes: Anniversary Edition: Extended Version
From John Wayne’s Batjac Productions: The Suspense Collection
Garfield: The Movie: The Purrrfect Collector’s Edition
George Clooney: The Collection
Glory Road
Heart is Deceitful Above All Things 
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Season 2 Vol. 1
Highlander 2: Special Edition
Home Improvement: Season Four
The Informer
Jennifer Aniston Collection
John Ford Collection
John Wayne-John Ford Collection
Like Mike 2: Street Ball
The Lost Patrol
The Magician
Man in the Vault
The Missing: Extended Cut
Mommie Dearest: Hollywood Royalty Edition
Mr. & Mrs. Smith – Unrated
Navy S.E.A.L.S./Red Dawn
NCIS: The Complete First Season
NFL Super Bowl Collection: Super Bowl XXXI-XL
Perfect Fit
Power Rangers: Mystic Force – Broken Spell, Vol. 1
Plunder of the Sun: Special Collector’s Edition
Preaching to the Choir
Ring of Fear
Ron White Show
Running Scared
Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic
Searchers: Ultimate Collector’s Edition
Sesame Street: Guess That Color & Shape
Shadow Man 
Star Trek Fan Collective – Q
Straight Into Darkness
Syrian Bride
Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
Time Tunnel: Season One, Volume Two
Track of the Cat: Special Collector’s Edition
Underworld: Evolution – Special Edition
Wild Wild West: The Complete First Season
Wings of Eagles
6.13.06:
16 Blocks
Against the Wall
All Aboard! Rosie’s Family Cruise
Aquamarine
Arrested Development: Season Three (RUMORED!)
Beavis and Butt-Head, Vol. 2: The Mike Judge Collection
Before the Fall
Betty Grable Collection, Volume One
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Boondocks – The Complete First Season
Cheers: The Complete Eighth Season
Coach: The Complete First Season
The Dead Zone: The Complete Fourth Season
Dharma & Greg: Season One 
Dora The Explorer: Animal Adventures
End of the Spear
Face the Music
Forty Shades of Blue
Frasier: The Complete Eighth Season
Getting Played
A Good Woman
Green Street Hooligans
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
L.A. Story: 15th Anniversary Edition
MacGyver: The Complete Sixth Season
Martin & Lewis Collection
Medium: The Complete First Season
Neil Young: Heart of Gold 
Pink Panther
Pink Panther Classic Cartoon Collection Volume 4 – Swingin’ in the Pink
Princess Bride (comes in Buttercup and Dread Pirate Edition)
The Rat Pack Collection
Reno 911!: The Complete Third Season – Uncensored
Rockford Files: Season Two
Room 6
Sandler Collection
The Sisters
Thinking XXX
This is America, Charlie Brown
Valley of the Dolls: Special Edition
Walker, Texas Ranger: The Complete First Season
Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?
World’s Fastest Indian
6.20.06:
Adventures of Superboy: The Complete First Season
Adventures of Superman: The Complete Third and Fourth Seasons
Bill Cosby Show: Season One
Charlie Chan Collection: Volume One
Clarke Gable: The Signature Collection
Eight Below
A Fine Madness
Frenzy
Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight
Hills Have Eyes (also comes in Unrated Edition)
I Love You Alice B. Toklas
Justice League: Season Two
King of Queens – The Complete Fifth Season
Krypto: The Superdog, Volume One – Cosmic Canine 
Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman – The Complete Third Season
Look, Up in the Sky: The Amazing Story of Superman
Married…with Children – The Complete Fifth Season
The Loved One
Nate and Hayes
NewsRadio – The Complete Fourth Season
Night Watch (Nochnoi Dozor)
NYPD Blue: Season 04
The Omen: Collector’s Edition
Petulia
Rope
Saboteur
Superman: The Animated Series – Volume Three
Superman: Brainiac Attacks
Syriana
Topaz
Trouble with Harry
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape: Special Collector’s Edition
6.27.06:
30 Days: Season One
Alice: TV Favorites
Annapolis
Blue Collar Comedy Tour – One for the Road
The Boat is Full
Boy and the Pirates/Crystalstone
Cache (Hidden)
Candy Stripers
Columbo: The Complete Fifth Season
Cow Belles
Chuck Berry Hail! Hail! Rock ‘n’ Roll
Curious George (RUMORED!)
Damon Wayans: Still Standing
Evil
Failure to Launch
Fear Factor: The First Season
Find Me Guilty
Fortunes of Captain Blood/Captain Pirate
Hunt for Eagle One: Crash Point
Imagine Me & You
Independence Day: 10th Anniversary Edition
Leroy & Stitch
Masters of Horror: Deer Woman
Masters of Horror: Landis/McKee Set
Masters of Horror: Sick Girl
Monk: Season Four
Private Resort
Project Runway: The Complete Second Season 
Red Riding Hood
Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare: Special Edition
Roseanne: The Complete Fourth Season
Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Collection
Strangers with Candy: The Complete Series
Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion
Ultraviolet (also comes in Unrated Extended Cut)
Wake in Providence
Why We Fight
Yellowbeard
Cut Your Hair, Hippie
Lord Joel Silver and the Wachowski Brothers want you to make sure that Terrorism is, like, good for your soul in V For Vendetta (read Devin’s positive review). Director James McTeigue (their First A.D.) drips the film in a thorough coating of anti-establishment much like Moore’s
prophesizing at the hands of Thatcher’s Government. It’s all leaned