No film has divided me in recent memory like Snakes on a Plane.
We here at CHUD were early adopters of the phenomenon, and it’s been
sad seeing the thing run into the ground the way it has been in the
last few months. There’s something primal and beautiful about this
movie that doesn’t need to be overhyped and overjoked. And you know
what, it was fun back when you had to be a reader of CHUD or Aint It
Cool to know about this movie, before Entertainment Weekly was running
seemingly weekly updates. Hey, EW, we don’t do exclusive interviews
with Reese Witherspoon, so why don’t you leave our movies to us?!
It’s unstoppable, though, and the thirst for Snakes on a Plane seems unquenchable. What’s going to be weird is if Snakes on a Plane
is the first film truly made by an internet groundswell. At least we’ll
have something to be proud of, after years of films like Shaun of the Dead, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Slither being ignored by the mainstream.
And
whatever else happens, no matter how unreal the hype gets, I’ll still
be there in the theater, enjoying the film I’ve been waiting a very
long time for.
So that brings us to the here, to the now – a full trailer for Snakes on a Plane,
and a CHUD reader – who goes by the name Shifty Eyed Dog – claims to
have seen the thing. I know that the “trailer description” thing isn’t
usually our bag, but every now and again we like to break our own rules
to keep you on your feet. And without further ado, a description of the
Snakes on a Plane trailer (btw, I don’t doubt our scooper, but be aware
that this may not be the final trailer you see in theaters in the next
few weeks):
I don’t know if this even qualifies as news, but I got to see the
full trailer for Snakes On A Plane.
So not that there’s any surprises in it, it’s a pretty standard trailer, but
it’s Snakes on a Motherfuckin’ Plane! Anyway, if you care, below is my
recollection of what we’ll all see in theaters very soon, I figure. All in
all, it looks like everything we hoped it would be!
Here it is:
* New Line logo
* Setting up the plot:
People boarding a plane
flight attendant says to Sam, “Welcome aboard Agent Flynn”
FBI taking over first class, young guy saying he’s a witness for the FBI.
Cuts back to Samuel L. Jackson talking to the young guy in a dark room –
“Those people know who you are. If you testify it’ll put him in jail for
Life”
Rest of passengers boarding plane – typical group – honeymooners, mom/kids,
businessmen, etc.
All of this first half is intercut with the text:
“6 Miles above the ocean
2 miles from land
a trap has been set
and there is no way out”
Countdown clock in baggage compartment. Reaches zero and a box blows open.
Cat meows and hisses.
Snakes silently spreading throughout the plane – into purses, under seats,
cockpit, etc.
Then the money shots begin:
snakes, snakes, and more snakes – striking at ankles, jumping at pilot,
slithering up the aisles chasing passengers –
Sam taking charge and barking orders
Sam on the phone to someone: "You know all those security scenarios we ran?
Well I’m smack in the middle of one."
More snake shots
Explosions, plane door blowing out, cabin losing pressure, beverage carts
crashing up the aisle
Sam: "Enough is enough! I’ve had it with these snakes!"
Second half intercut with text:
"This summer
experience
the height
of fear"
Ground Control: "Somebody wanna tell me what’s going on up there?"
Title card:
Snakes on a Plane
Thanks to Dan Laugharn for the Sam L emoticon!