I believe that the initial announcement of the Short Circuit remake/reboot was one of the very first news posts I wrote in my online salad days. I was young(er) and unaware how far down the remake rabbit hole already went…and how much further it would go. (Lethal freaking Weapon.) So I railed about Short Circuit with an appropriate amount of indignation, mixed in the expected nostalgia, and felt people would Really Care. At the time, they probably did. We were all kind of navigating this new and ugly cinematic recycling together.
But now it’s the sort of news to produce hysteric and nervous laughter. Because Deadline reports that Tim Hill (of Alvin and the Chipmunks) is now directing the remake. He’s also hurriedly rewriting it, so it’s unclear if its “new and improved” script of Johnny 5 meeting, hiding with, and ultimately repairing a fractured family will stick. (Probably.)
I don’t really care that this is being remade anymore. (Again — Lethal Weapon.) I just care that its shrill and unfunny trailer will crash upon my delicate consciousness at some unforeseen point. I’ll probably even have to hear Joe Moviegoer chuckling along, and saying “I can’t wait to see that!” That bothers me more. And that’s commentary enough, I think.