Along with the original Battle Royale getting a domestic release, the list of things I’d never expect to see coming to our shores would probably include Spanish writer-director-actor Santiago Segura’s sexist cop series Torrente.

But New Line got out the Sharpie and scratched that right the hell off the list. Si, hermanos y hermanas: they’re planning to import Segura’s infamously incompetent, mangy, booze-swilling, politically incorrect policeman into our country, because apparently we don’t have enough of our own here in the US.

Mike Bender and Doug Chernack are writing the script for the American remake, and they’ll have their work cut out for them — if they want to make the movie even somewhat commercially palatable they’ll have to make the character slightly less than utterly despicable.  The films are smash successes in their native Spain, but I can’t imagine such racist, juvenile, repetitious, culturally specific black humor would translate especially well. But then, changing any of that would sort of defeat the purpose, so I’m not really sure what the point is.

Either way, I don’t foresee much involvement from Segura himself (particularly for the leading man, since he’s like a less handsome Dennis Franz).