KA-KOOM!

That resounding slam you’re hearing is the arrival of the first trailer from the end of Twlight (right!). Actually, one half of the end. Breaking Dawn is so amazing and life-changing they simply had to break it into two films. Shit, they should have broken it into seven more films. I’m so hard right now. This is it, THE BIG ONE. The Mormonized vampire story featuring werewolves having hots for tots and bloodsuckers wearing tuxedos.

The trailer is front heavy on shots of invitations to a vampire wedding reaching different characters, including a werewolf. A werewolf gets a wedding invitation in this trailer. I know nothing about Twilight except Fuck Twilight, but I thought the buff Lautner was a mortal enemy of the pallid Edward Sullen. Why would he get an invite? Regardless, he probably isn’t a fan as he sheds his shirt and transforms while running. That’s werewolf for “Aw Hell No!”.

Fuck yeah, this trailer!

Here it is! Wait no longer!

Cock hard.