This was a different year for me. Because I’ve been trying to segue into a different part of the film business as well as the publishing world, I’ve skipped a lot more movies than I would have over the past six or seven years. It’s been weird and I feel kind of like those amputees who feel the phantom sensation of their lost limbs still. The pull is there, the want to make the time to catch everything tossed out there, and the drive to go snag DVDs on Tuesdays still exists.
But…
It also doesn’t. With Devin out there hitting the theaters so hard and with Russ sometimes getting my back here in Atlanta, it was a more relaxed schedule for me. As a result, I didn’t see nearly as many flicks as I would have. If you want the list of the person with the most diverse cinematic landscape for 2005, CLICK HERE.
That said, I sort of need to do a list since it’s kind of weird to see this site without one from my grizzled visage. Enjoy!
15. The Wedding Crashers (CHUD Review) (Buy the DVD)
The
Carell/Apatow movie was sweeter and smaller but at the end of the day I
still prefer seeing Owen Wilson at the top of his game. Vince Vaughn
got the broad gags and the big comedy moments but it’s Wilson who makes
this a winner. Plus, the two girls in the flick are terrific. The stuff
that makes this worth seeing again and again is the little moments
between the leads, the quieter moments. They keep the outrageously lame
concept and eventual descents into feel-goodness minor complaints.
This
is the best comedy Vaughn’s had since Psycho and the pinnacle of Wilson’s mainstream filmmaking output. Now these guys can go back to being interesting in smaller films.
Current Rating: 8.5 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Laughs and tits. Duh.
Performance to
Savor: The Butterscotch Stallion.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: “The best crash since Lady Di!”
14. Jarhead (CHUD Review)
I think this was a disappointment for a lot of people. It had prestige out the ass and a giant bestseller still in recent memory to spread the word. But it was released at the wrong time and the film doesn’t really have much of a message. It just exists and goes nowhere, which is kind of the point. I think a lot of people realized that the ride was almost enough to make the whole thing worthwhile.
It’s sometimes raw, others haunting, and sometimes a perfect example of why the Gulf War(s) just don’t have the cinematic punch of the ones which preceded them. And Jake’s great. So’s Peter. So’s Jamie. It’s just a solid little military flick, and the soundtrack is awesome.
Current Rating: 8.0 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: War movies never get old.
Performance to
Savor: Jake, letting his chops not get in the way of his buffness.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: “It’s got almost as much jacking off as The Squid and the Whale!”
13. Constantine (CHUD Review) (Buy the DVD)
If I had any balls this would be in my top ten above Batman Begins. I absolutely love this movie and it’s one that I revisit on DVD more than just about any other comic adaptation. It’s probably because while I like the comic, it has too many cooks involved in the broth for me to really care all that much anymore. This thing may have taken the book’s "outside the box" formula and slightly boxed it, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t a good R-rated flick with some really amazing filmmaking tossed in for good measure.
Keanu is above average here, something that got lost in the mix for some, but the real hero is Francis Lawrence. We might have the next spectacle filmmaker on our hands with this cat provided he doesn’t fuck it up. It’s cool, mean, and a heck of a lot of fun to watch unfold.
No apologies here.
Current Rating: 8.3 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Great mood, terrific visuals, Djimon Hounsou, Peter Stormare, unique vision of Hell.
Performance to
Savor: This isn’t a performance piece, but I’ll go with the overacting gnashing monstrosity known in some circles as the ‘Mare.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: “No shit, this is just about as good as the comic!”
12. Sin City (CHUD Review) (Buy the DVD)
This had no right being this good. There was nothing about the way this thing looked before release that made me think that one of my top five comic books ever read was going to be anything less than a failure. Well buck my eye, they did it.
The recent DVD release with the special features couldn’t have come at a better time, seeing Robert Rodriguez (and Frank Miller) pour heart and soul into something that’s not really a film but rather a Frankenstein of celluloid that somehow works like a charm.
Yeah it’s too long and doesn’t really serve as a good example of the three act structure, but rules were meant to be broken. This is the poster child of that.
Current Rating: 8.4 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: More noir than most bookshops. Great and inventive stuff. How did they manage to tug such good work out of husks like Mickey Roarke and Rutger Hauer?
Performance to
Savor: Marv.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: “The best sneering backhand to the face of all.”
11. War of the Worlds (CHUD Review) (Buy the DVD)
I hear that there may have been a 9/11 subtext here…
This is 8/10ths of a perfect event movie, but unlike 99% of the world I don’t give a shit that Tom Cruise’s kid survived an alien attack. It’s trivial. I have more problems with the tone and pacing of the Tim Robbins stuff, but the good parts of this movie are so damn good that the not so good parts are minor squabbles.
This is a hard film for hard times. Harder than most of us expected. The acting is great. The FX are great. It’s topical AND timeless.
Yeah, it’s better than Narnia.
Current Rating: 8.5 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Unending dread and increasingly powerful and impactful alien interactions. A surprising bit of daring from the Bearded One. Tom Cruise, you may hate his offscreen shenanigans, but he can act.
Performance to
Savor: Dennis Muren.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: “Forget the stupid Oprah incident and remember a terrific movie!”
10. Millions (CHUD Review) (Buy the DVD)
It’s not the most unpredictable film ever made, but it has heart and style to spare. I’ve always been a Danny Boyle apologist, but this one even surprised me. I thought this was his bid for some mainstream jobs but it’s a quirky and unfiltered bit of love and energy and with kid actors this good and cinematic sleight of hand, it turns out you don’t need Ewan and his big cock or Cillian and his hidden by 70’s bush little one.
Boyle’s still one of the best guys we have working just on the fringe. There’s a million reasons you should be seeing this, but its presence on most of the CHUD lists ought to rank high.
Current Rating: 8.5 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: A total sense of abandon. More saints than a Roger Moore marathon.
Performance to
Savor: Both of the lead kids and Danny Boyle, obviously still a kid at heart.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: “Danny Boyle has a way with dead moms!”
9. Land of the Dead (CHUD Review) (Buy the DVD)
I pity the fools who dismissed this s just another zombie flick in the wake of the Dawn of the Dead remake. I also scoff at the ones who didn’t give this much love because it’s smaller and less showy than the bulk of the horror crop we are dealt on a monthly basis. Romero still has it, and better yet, he has a leading man who just might be better than both Duane Jones and Ken Foree in his impressive progression of leading men for his zombie flicks.
He goes the Carpenter route a little with Simon Baker by making a hero who is really meaty and iconic and unafraid to do the unpopular thing. He doesn’t have the cool dialogue but he certainly has cool actions and I’ll take that over the former. Additionally, his story takes some more steps forward than it did in Day of the Dead by creating a much more defined class system, one which is breaking down almost as much as it was in the pre-zombie holocaust era. There’s not much subtlety in Romero’s politics here, but the film is good enough to speed right past the somewhat blatant jabs in creating a zombie flick with some pedigree. Could anything had met fans’ blue balls for more Romero zombie action? I doubt it. This one left me super jazzed though.
Oh, and the DVD is terrific.
Current Rating: 8.9 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Zombies. Commentary. Great FX gags. Who’d have thought Simon Baker was a badass?
Performance to
Savor: He who bakes the Simons.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: “George Romero is fucking tall!”
8. Batman Begins (CHUD Review) (Buy the DVD)
This flick loses its way for a while in the third act, but the rest is so good that it’s really hard to fault the whole because of sum of its parts. That wasn’t bad grammar but rather a shite joke.
I’ll go this far even:
When Batman Begins is at its best, it’s better than X2 or Spider-Man 2 or Hellboy. It’s a true classic drama with some suspense elements that just happens to have a nutty caped guy in it. Sadly, the aforementioned films have a consistency to them that this doesn’t but Bale is so good and Neeson is so good and Christopher Nolan’s direction and storytelling is so good that it doesn’t matter. Another pass at the script by someone with fresh eyes would have resulted in this film being a masterpiece. Sadly, it isn’t but it’s the best Batman celluloid ever made, which isn’t saying much even with Mask of the Phantasm in the list, but it’s a step. Installment two of this puppy is going to be phenomenal, especially without Katie Holmes or Cillian Murphy in the mix.
Current Rating: 8.9 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Bale. Nolan. Great supporting cast. An amazing first half. Gary Oldman!
Performance to
Savor: Neeson in the opening half is great. Bale is great throughout.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "Better than your overrated animated series!"
7. Hustle and Flow (Order the DVD)
Here’s how good this film is:
Taryn Manning is in it and it still made my list.
Terrence Howard is absolutely stunning as the pimp turned rapper, a performance that takes what could have been a generic flick and catapults it into something bigger. Ludacris is great, but I’m a sucker for guys named Skinny Black in films. Remember Skinny Black in The Wizard of Oz? Same goes for Skinny Black, the lead character in Klute. It’s just a truly famous name in cinema.
In fact, I saw this at the AMC Skinny Black multiplex with my friends Ronnie Dalkins, Paul Sound, and Skinny Black.
Anyway, this is a big coming out party for an actor who has long deserved it. Even in The Best Man this guy was gold.
Current Rating: 8.9 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Perfect casting. A great vibe. A great soundtrack. Skinny Black.
Performance to
Savor: Mr. Howard.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "Terrence makes a stamp!"
6. King Kong (CHUD Review) (Order the DVD)
If I was to pencil in my number one film of 2005 on January 1, 2005 it’d had probably been this one. All signs pointed towards this being a nearly perfect film. It didn’t turn out that way but it’s still an amazing achievement in the same way that all the great forward steps in filmmaking are. It just didn’t do what some audiences expected, which was buy us dinner, caress our hair, and then blow us.
Kong does the first two, but backs off after a few sucks because at the end of the day this isn’t about us but about a love affair between a New Zealander and a giant ape and I can respect that. There’s never been a spectacle this resoundingly effective, from the V-Rex battles to the Kong performance to the fact that nearly every frame of film is loaded with wizardry. Where Star Wars: The Return of the Sith felt like all of the art and emotion had been sucked from it, this felt alive and playful. It’s why the stampede and cab chase scenes are almost screwball comedy and the Empire State Building and V-Rex scenes are so intense and brutal. The gamut of pulp and old school staples clash heartily with the cutting edge and the result is a kitchen sink mixture on the surface.
This one will age very well and deserve it. It’s great, it just ain’t THE GREATEST.
Current Rating: 9.0 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: A truly retro event flick. Andy Serkis blows Gollum out of the water with Kong. Jack Black is good, I’ll be damned.
Performance to
Savor: Serkis in the best duel role since Dennis Weaver.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "The best film about .ape since The Accused."
5. The Matador
What a great and vicious little tiny little tiny little movie.
Pierce Brosnan is lethal here, playing a cock and a half you can’t help but love and it isn’t because he’s a hitman. That shit’s fine. What spoils the mix is that he’s a prick and a great one.
Great dialogue, a fun rapport between Greg Kinnear and the Pierce, and the first work of Hope Davis’ career where I go "OK, I get it now" makes this little steamer a winner that will only get better with age.
I also love how this film doesn’t care about the touchy feely stuff. It just is, and in some ways it’s like a soulmate to other great films like The Ref and Grosse Pointe Blank and Skinny Black.
Current Rating: 9.0 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: This one just defies convention and is great without any particular moment or structural element. It’s just a lovely little bitch bastard of a movie.
Performance to
Savor: Pierce Brosnan, kicking dirt in James Bond’s face.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "This is it, the movie that got Nick to like Hope Davis!"
4. Good Night, and Good Luck
How does Clooney do it?
He bitchslaps Bill O’Reilly, produces and stars in the very solid Syriana, and wears a million hats on this, his best and most well realized film as a creator. In casting David Strathairn he has the perfect lead and in populating his film with familiar faces he makes an art film with an agenda go down like a milkshake.
This isn’t the catch-all Murrow biography some folks (Smilin’ Jack I feel your pain) want, but it’s a really inventive little curiosity that doesn’t really pander to its audience but rather does its thing audience be damned. Yeah, we’re being preached to, but it’s almost invisible. What remains is a knockout little film and one with brains and balls to boot.
Clooney’s just great. End of story.
Current Rating: 9.0 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: David effing Strathairn finally getting his goddamn due. Clooney and the nerd from True Lies kicking serious ass behind the scenes. Langella doing something other than Whoopi.
Performance to
Savor: That guy on the poster.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "If you don’t like this you’re a Communist!"
3. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (CHUD Review)
It totally shows off during every minute of its running time. Shane Black is literally like a teen in a blowjob shop behind the keyboard and the lens in this, his debut as a director. It’s a beautiful thing where it could have been self-indulgent slap. It’s not only good, it’s great, a ballsy and carefree romp that’s probably the most entertaining film we’ve seen in a few cycles.
Downey’s a King, Kilmer’s a God, and Monaghan’s on fire and cute as a button but with perkier nipples. It’s just a sweet package and you know that this will be the sleeper everyone discovers on video.
Pussies.
Current Rating: 9.2 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Michelle Monaghan, hotter than Devin’s asshole after a Taco Bell binge.
Performance to
Savor: I’m going with Val. Downey’s always been a virtuoso.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "Better than a forest full of fearstalkers."
2. A History of Violence (CHUD Review) (Order the DVD)
What makes this movie special isn’t that it’s everything Road to Perdition wasn’t in terms of taking a serious graphic novel and making it a living thing. It isn’t even that David Cronenberg took somewhat benign material and made a slimy and subversive little flick.
It’s that an audience can enjoy this thing as just a really askew revenge flick or as a rather sly look at the other side of the veneer of the human psyche, or some shit like that.
Bottom line is that this is a performance rich and somewhat accessible film that will only get better with age. It’s a film that can get boneheads into watching actual cinema without even knowing it. Thanks, Mr. Cronenberg!
Current Rating: 9.2 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: It’s Cronenberg kicking mainstream ass.
Performance to
Savor: The Veeg.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "Your number one outlet for vestigial tails in 2005!"
1. Munich (CHUD Review)
This is The Godfather by way of Schindler’s List for me. It doesn’t make sense on the surface but something about Munich reeks of elegance and a coolness that’s just under the surface. The fact this story remains virtually unknown to the general public makes it a ripe target and I could watch another three hours of Eric Bana and crew mixing it up on the streets of Europe and beyond.
Is it Spielberg’s best film? Not in terms of entertainment, but it’s right up there with what Long Islander’s call ‘Da List’ in terms of quality.
Note: My view on this may be biased as I thought I was seeing a biopic about the star of Malcolm in the Middle.
Current Rating: 9.3 out of 10
Contributing
Factors: Astounding work from Ciaran Hinds, Eric Bana, and the rest of the crew. Spielberg focused and sober. No cop-outs. A meaty and blue-collar approach.
Performance to
Savor: Bana.
P.R. CHUD.com
Pull-Quote: "I’m not saying killing athletes is good, but…"
Honorable mentions: Kung Fu Hustle. Into the Blue (best guilty pleasure of 05). The Constant Gardener. Broken Flowers. The Aristocrats. Lords of Dogtown. Kingdom of Heaven. Syriana.
Wish I could have seen: Three Burials. Brokeback Mountain. The Squid and the Whale. Elizabethtown. The Man.