tWhat could this movie do for her presidential election chances?

I like to keep my love of movies and my sweeping, stubborn political generalizations separate, but unfortunately it looks like Sarah Palin, the absolute worst of the worst, may be tipping my hand by raping my beloved format with her incessant bullshit.

First of all let’s get something out of the way (since I’m not particularly politically outspoken around here) – I’m essentially a misanthrope, and a cynic. I believe every major party in this country is full of shit, most politicians are the devil, and that most everything done by the government and the major players in the private sector is either stupid, evil, or a frightening combination of both. So keep the comments accusing me of being any particular thing, the fuck outta here. Moving on…

Taking absolutely no cues from the embarrassment that was Atlas Shrugged, which debuted with all the acclaim of a Direct-To-Video DVD, Palin is apparently about to launch her own right-wing extremist motion picture, Undefeated, which she sees as a method of reshaping the narrative that surrounds her. According to Deadline the narrative documentary tells the tale of the politician’s battle with the media, her struggles in Alaska, and the circumstances of her early departure from office. There is said to be a large focus on that whole media battle thing, which Palin has long delighted in spinning into a bully/victim narrative that positions her as the underdog. It was created by Stephen K. Bannon, a conservative filmmaker who responded to the request for a few videos with a pitch for a “two-hour-long, sweeping epic.” Some have already watched it and see it as an actual notable endeavor, so it appears to be more than just a cheap ken burns’d documentary with a Palin-slant.

My greatest fear is not that this is going to be a truly notable film, considering it is “set to premiere in late June in Iowa and then other early presidential primary states like New Hampshire and South Carolina and Nevada. Then the film will eventually release into between 50 and 100 markets nationwide. It may also have a DVD life since there are preliminary discussion about purchasing copies of the film from Bannon to distribute as gifts to SarahPAC donors. And Bannon is counting on a video-on-demand deal.” That sounds a whole lot like nothing special right there. HOWEVER, because of Palin’s reputation and spotlight, there’s a chance this shit could go viral (so to speak) and become something larger. Gross. She hasn’t been included much in the 2012 presidential conversation, but this film may be part of her last-minute launch into the arena. Dog help us all.

Frankly, no one in the political world infuriates me more than Palin (part of her appeal, I’m aware). She’s a fucking cartoon character, and represents the wort of the recent instincts of some members of this country to gravitate towards cartoons and caricatures to lead them, rather than adults. Yes, it’s absolutely true that a well spoken, clearly intelligent human being can be a slimy fuck that’s up to no good, but that does not, by simple comparison, imply that pandering, straight-talkin’ parodies of “normal folks” are the answer. It’s shocking that Larry the Cable Guy –in character– is not yet a state senator in this environment. And yet Palin and Trump, who are equally engineered characters, have been the most dynamic faces of the right of late. There’s got to be a dialogue, and I hate that the left constantly look like the only adults in the room- there needs to be some serious figureheads to call them on their shit too.

But Palin continues with her cynical, transparent campaign to be relevant, despite having absolutely nothing to offer anyone anywhere. And now she’s involving movies. She can use reality TV all she wants (it just marginalizes her as a b-celebrity even more), but leave my medium the fuck alone!

Here’s an idea: Maybe we can squeeze this Bannon guy inside of Michael Moore and they’ll pull some Matrix Revolutions shit and trigger a reboot of the whole system, complete with pretty sunrise and one-step made closer to Nirvana.

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