DVD REVIEW: DISNEY PRINCESSES

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STUDIO: Walt Disney Home Video
MSRP: $19.99/$19.99
RATED: NR/NR
RUNNING TIME: 38/68 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Princess Tea Time Game
• Dance Along
• Karaoke
• Princess Story Builder

“We take old content and re-release it. Then we put it in pink boxes. No one will notice old content if we put it in pink boxes!”

The Humans

Belle, Mulan, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Snow White, Ariel

The Nutshell

Disney Princess: Sing Along Songs – Vol. 2 is exactly what it sounds like. The Disney Princesses get together for a tea part and sing songs. The words to the songs appear on screen so your little princess can sing along too (my wife did).

Disney Princess: Princess Stories – Vol. 3 tells three fairy tales centered on Aerial, Cinderella and Jasmine.

The Package

Eh. There isn’t really much to grade this on. The Sing Along DVD is barely over 30 minutes long. If I were a parent buying a distraction for my little terror I’d want more than 30 minutes of non-nagging time for my $19.99. The Stories disc is a bit better at a little over 60 minutes.

They both have a few bonus features (one has a game, another a story builder) – but not much. It’s nice that Disney put something on these discs, but they are pretty bare.

They do sound great though. Both are presented in 5.1. This is important, because when you have a 5 year old screeching “Kiss the Girl” from Little Mermaid you want it as clear as possible.

Health Note: When you use your bird as a dildo or butt plug, please wipe and goo off before putting it back in its cage.

The Lowdown

I’m sure these are fantastic diversions for a 5 year old girl. Possible up to 8 (I’m not sure). If you have a girl who is down with the Disney Princess culture – I doubt there is a better crack you can find. I have a friend with a little girl who loves the Disney Princesses. I plan on giving her these discs. I assume my friend will go completely insane within one week.

The real problem I had with both discs, however, is that I don’t think there was five minutes of original content on either of them. The Sing Along DVD contained songs (with corresponding movie clips) direct from Disney movies. Sure, some were from direct to DVD sequels (Jasmine’s song is from Return of Jafar) – but the only original song is “Where Dream Begin” an annoying pop-fest at the end with all the Princesses.

The Stories disc is the same. I don’t think there is any original content. I’ve never seen the Ariel or Jasmine stories on the discs, but they seemed like cartoon series fodder. They both were about 22 minutes or so too. Like the producers just took a random episode of each series and threw it onto the disc. The Cinderella story is even worse as it is Cinderella basically narrating a 15 minute version of the movie.

Sebastian and Flounder were never the same after they watched Ariel’s "Mermaids Gone Wild" filming.