The First Rant is the Deepest.
Yes, boys and girls, it most certainly is.
The brief description under my name and next to my handsome face is all you really initially need to know about me. The rest will come through via my writing. However, if for some unknown reason you wish to know more (say, perhaps you have an affinity for the ancient art of online stalking), I’d like to open up my career of CHUD blogging by simply listing facts that may or may not range from compelling to painfully banal.
I have biblical hatred towards all of the “Rocky” movies.
I find gyros to be an abomination in the eyes of God.
Sam Cooke is just one of the many men throughout history whom I’d gladly turn my back on heterosexuality for.
All four seasons hold a special place in the gaping maw where my heart once was.
A cardigan is the single most useful piece of clothing one can own.
“Babe” and “The Fountain” are two of the few films that get me all choked up.
I plan on moving to San Francisco for the sole purpose of living in a neighborhood called “Tenderloin.” Yes, I am so childish that I would move to one of the most expensive cities in America just to giggle every time I walk outside.
I know for a fact that the Super Nintendo will be looked back upon as the pinnacle of gaming.
Mixing Mr. Boston Vodka with Tampico results in the cheapest and most effective way to ensure that your vomit glows neon orange.
I’m never going to mention Indy IV, because everything that needs to be said has already been written on this site.
My favorite literary passage of the moment comes from Jeffery Eugenides’ novel “Middlesex.” It reads, “I hadn’t gotten old enough yet to realize that living sends a person not into the future but back into the past, to childhood and before birth, finally, to commune with the dead.”
Josh Ritter is the single most talented American musician and poet of the past decade.
…and that’s all for now. I promise that my next post will center on something concrete and truly deserving of a rant.