Department of Transporgofuckyourself.

Highway workers are lazy.

This is not a generalization but a fact. They are lazy cocksuckers, even. Lazy sons of whores who probably didn’t make it past 9th grade. All of them. Even the ones in my family, and there’s a few. They are worse than being burned alive*.

Georgia has what I believe to be the worst Department of Transportation I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen the ones in New York, Florida, California, and Hobb’s End so I have a clue. This is a town where they build and build and build until the population and retail options are beyond overblown before thinking to make the roads to accommodate the growth. Peachtree Street, the thoroughfare that bisects the most busy and happening spots in town is two lanes either way even as massive skyscrapers filled with lofts and upscale housing bloom up at every intersection. Between Phipps Plaza and Piedmont Road lurks a one mile strip of land that has been overhauled with gigantic buildings that reach to the sky with dozens upon dozens of stories filled with new residents and nowhere extra for the cars to go!

It’s madness I tell you.

The street I love off recently widened from one lane on either side to two, which made it ALMOST serviceable. One of the sacrifices made was so that people on my street can no longer make a left turn out. Most of the shit I do is to the left, but whatever…

The road BARELY accommodates us all. My street, which just gets by, now has a high school and two strip malls being built. A high school alone is going to fistfuck the area like it’s nobody’s business yet they are doing nothing to prepare for this. There’s an intersection there already that is so much a clusterfuck, people wanting to take a left turn have to wait through four or five traffic light changes just so the impossibly short left turn lane can be exposed for them.

Down a ways, they have a gigantic and horrible church whose Sunday
traffic ruins the lives of all the tax paying heathens who have cooler
stuff to do with their time [excluding a Chick-Fil-A breakfast of
course], yet they’ve done nothing to build for growth.

I’m not very smart but I know logic. This defies it.

This past Sunday my wife and I decided to go to the Braves game. It was a day game, the team was wearing it’s cool red uniform, and we had someone to watch the kid. Glorious, right? Wrong.

The Department of Transportation decided that the weekends would be a good time to repave the three left lanes of 75/85, the biggest highway in the city. This leaves two for the rest of us. It’s a three-mile stretch of road they’re working on, and it just happens to be three miles of the busiest and least fun areas to traverse when all of the lanes are working.

We got into this mess, one which was backed up for miles and miles because of the bottleneck.

In the May heat we sat in the car waiting. We heard the pregame there. We heard the first inning. We heard the second inning. We heard the third inning. We weren’t even close to where we needed to be when the fourth inning started.

Then my wife mentioned something I hadn’t even noticed:

There were no workers. Anywhere. Two miles into the three mile stretch of road work, there was not one single person working in the three lanes we all needed to be using.

That fucked me up. It’s one thing to inconvenience a whole lot of people and another altogether to do it for nothing. The road wasn’t broken or freshly paved. It hadn’t even been addressed yet. It’s as if they coned up the road and screwed our schedule in case they decided to show up. Hundreds of cars, many filled with dogs for the Braves ‘Bark in the Park’ promotion [poor furry guys were all panting in back seats assuredly mulling a switch to becoming soccer fans as a result of this fiasco] waited, wasting super expensive gas for nothing.

Nothing. Because the Georgia Department of Transportation is either run by aphids, allocated inappropriate funds by our tax dollars to function, or just lazy like so many of the people in their employ.

I’d drive over there and complain if there wasn’t so much damn congestion.

– Nick Nunziata will skip a hybrid car and go directly to a solar-powered deep sea vessel.

Before
I go, here’s the latest thing I’m adding to the blog. Each day I’ll
have a song, a piece of artwork, a photo, a Mary Worth, or something to
further justify your click and to give the trolls a little more ammo.
Today, another concept poster for a project I’m trying to put together:

Artwork by John Rauch

* – I’m exaggerating. There’s probably a handful of diligent, intelligent, and G.E.D. possessing highway workers.