Mailbagsukidoji:

Your letters. My smartass replies.The Steady Leak
may not be so steady these days, but your letters have been, so I must
share them and answer them so that the wheels keep turning on this
crazy little bitch. Feel free to ask whatever about whomever or
whatever, and I’ll do my best to answer it. Letters in here might be
positive, negative, or indifferent and I’ll try to maintain a balance.
Please keep sending them in (SEND A LETTER), as it’s you who fuels this column. With that said, here we go….

Come around here often?

Your Next President.

Mitch to the left!Tom writes:

war of the worlds sucked!! ruining a classic story should be a crime!!
i’ll never pay full price for a spielberg flick again!!
p. s. thanx for the annoying pop up ad! i doubt i ever visit YOUR site
again. adios to you !!! loser!!


Nick’s Reply: Adios to grammar!

(SEND A LETTER)

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This Headline is Longer Than His Letter.

Mitch to the right.G.I. Shmoe writes:

Jaws 2. Your thoughts?

Nick’s Reply:
I love Jaws. I’m not going to call it Jaws 2 because I think it should be called Jaws. The first film? That’s Jaw. I think it makes the franchise that much more laden with synergy. That way, people can say that the Jaw films with numbers suck.

(SEND A LETTER)

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Great Name, Great Letter.

Mitch to the left!Nick writes:

Its been a few times I have been
meaning to write in to say I love the site and spend far too much time of my
morning reading through all the new articles rather then diligently
working. Im
especially love the DVD reports, the leak, the prognosticator, and on more then
one occasion bought a couple movies based solely on the writings on your fine
site. Enter “Primer”.

In my office we have a nice plasma
TV in our office that is on all day a news channel or a financial channel. Personally, I try to stay informed but it is
tough with the quality and harping of today’s media on a few select topics.
It a great commentary
on the state of our world when Daily Show viewers have a higher political IQ
then viewers of “news” channels.

Jon Stewart was my hero when he went on Hardball.

So I have drifted a bit….I was
really trying to agree with your disdain of Oprah. It is amazing she is turning the non incident
into a racial thing just to have a topic for her show this fall. Not to mention the store issued an apology
because they know the wrath she can bring on them by turning their customer base
against them. Damn that store for
closing at its listed time!! They most
certainly would have been open 20 minutes after closing time if she had been
white. I hope she called Tom Cruise for
some advice.

So, I love the reviews you guys do,
and normally there is at a partial if not complete agreement, but I must say I
have no idea what Devin is going to like or dislike….I guess the two big
disagreements are Batman and Fantastic Four.
I have never read comics, but I do like movies…and more and more I find I
am a bit of a snob for things like story and character over effects and
explosions. I liked Batman and even
liked the third act which most of you guys dispelled. It wasn’t perfect, but the fact is, I liked
it soo much I have seen it twice (the IMAX
beckoned). It was fun, multi-demsional and satisfied my geekness on a lot of levels. I have an involvement in the defense industry
and all the weapons exist in some level or another….which makes me happy. Even the cape is based on a real material that
my former college roommate did a project on for her masters.

Fantastic four was the opposite.
I didn’t hate it, in fact I felt the thing and torch were great. The story was weak though. It was fine through the origins of their
powers, but the finale was lame and really had little story to it. It just kind of happened for no real
reason. Then we leave everyone hunky
dorey on the boat without a care in the world,
completely ok with their mutations. Mr fantastic didn’t
really have any depth or presence to him.
I just flat out didn’t like Doom through out. The movie could have been soo much more. In a
way that didn’t need to be dark and could have still been the fun summer move
Devin really liked….but why not some real story. Some real reason for the
public to love them, a real threat to make them heroes instead of just defending
themselves.

Those are my thoughts. Im not bashing
Devin or anything, we just have different opinions. It just hurts inside to know we are drifting
apart….

Until I get the gumption up to write
again.

Nick’s Reply: Get some more gumption! Good letter. I agree with you on most points, except about Devin. He’s a pile of assballs.

(SEND A LETTER)

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Simmons.

Mitch to the right.Chad writes:

In your last leak, at the end you wrote:

"George, thanks to you I now have most of the Hard Case potboilers."

If you’re referring to the Dan Simmons books.. dude, there are only three.
Which means you have two. Unfortunately, Simmons has said he’s done writing Joe Kurtz – he’s not killing him off, he’s just not going to write any more. In the pantheon of Simmons, the Kurtz books are better than some of his other entries (the last couple "Summer of Night" books were not
good) but his true talent lies in the SF area. If you haven’t read "Carrion Comfort" though, please pick it up. It’s the definition of a great Summer read.

If you’re not referring to Simmons.. well, sorry to waste your time. As always, love the site and the Leaks.

Nick’s Reply: I was referring to the Hard Case Crime series of books, an example of which is HERE. They are brilliant. I love the Simmons series too, though.

(SEND A LETTER)

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Stuff.

Mitch to the left!Robert writes:

Sorry to hear about your commentary being axed.
Would’ve been nice to hear something interesting on a commentary track for a
change other than the usual "Oh, he/she was great to work with, great sense of
humor, blah blah". Sometimes I can’t make out all the words cause that person
usually has their lips pressed up against an ass, or they have nothing
constructive to really say. I personally would’ve loved to hear you and
Moriarty talk film, regardless of what movie it was.

I can’t help but feel that commentary tracks
anymore just don’t seem to have any humor or real insight, but rather are
becoming a kissup session or an elongated plug for an upcoming project. Kevin
Smith’s tracks are good, and full of genuine feeling, even if he plugs his store
in Red Bank a bit much for my tastes(Chasing Amy’s commentary is my second fave,
with Hunter Thompson on Fear and Loathing being the first ). And listening to
Ah-nuld on Conan The Barbarian , I’m convinced he was paid $50,000 for every
time he said ‘exactly’.

In my view, dvd extras are becoming more and more
scarce and it’s disgusting. I can’t help but feel there’s tons of stuff out
there for older films, like lost scenes, drawings and such, and I’m quite sure
there are cool actors who are icons to film geeks that would love to record a
heartfelt and insightful commentary track for the fans. Well, here’s hoping,
anyway.
PS-I’m glad to see you’ve just about gotten over
your disgust of Toby Keith. As for me, I’m taking up a collection to have
hitmen pour a gallon of concrete down the throat of Larry ‘The Cable
Guy’

Thanks for reading

Nick’s Reply: I haven’t lost one molecule of hatred for Toby Keith, I just got tired of giving him attention. I agree for the most part about DVD special features finding it much harder to stick out and impress and if I never hear a filmmaker say that he/she "had to fight for this scene" again it’ll be too soon. As for our commentary, I have heard it and it has some really good moments and some that aren’t so great. Just like most commentary tracks. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

(SEND A LETTER)

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Ads.

Mitch to the right.Joe writes:

Not like you don’t receive enough
feedback on this topic, but I have a small thing to say about the ads.
Basically, people need to get over that shit pronto. I have no problem with your
ads at all – like you said, you gotta make the cash somehow, and at least you
don’t throw them at us incessantly. I believe you have been tasteful and fair
with your ad placement. The ONLY ads that have bothered me in the least have
been the in-text ads, and that’s minor at best. If you don’t put the mouse
cursor on them, they don’t react!

So don’t even bother listening to the
whiny bitches about this whole ad thing – it’s fine, doesn’t bother me, and the
quality of ads has gotten better (I especially like the trailer ads, makes sense
for a site like this).

To answer what Ben was saying in your
last leak – I like the idea of CHUD Premium. I don’t know if you’ll decide to go
that road, but if you do, I’ll pay. I love your site, and I feel you’re some of
the only guys on the web I can trust to have good and TRUE breaking news on
movies. Keep rockin’ in the free world, brother.


Nick’s Reply: If I had a clue or some sort of tools to achieve a CHUD.com Premium site, I’d consider it. The dough is needed. Stat!

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The Leak Sucks.

Mitch to the left!John writes:

I know you get lots of email asking to continue the leak. But you should stop. I couldn’t even get part way though this most recent edition. The movie news you cull from other places is convenient at best, but honestly your opinions on life in general are uneducated and creepy. Even your opinions on movies are becoming increasingly bizaar. I know its nice to have an outlet where you can say anything you want, and to think, BECAUSE you write it, it has some level of validation, but give it a rest. You think too much, just like every other nerd out there. You should just keep those thoughts to yourself sometimes.

Nick’s Reply: Shit, it’s uneducated AND creepy? That sucks. My goal was to come across elitist and obtuse. It means I have to try harder and perhaps get rid of some of this burdensome intelligence I’ve been storing up in the spot in my brain where good WWF trivia could have been kept. As an aside, what’s a bizaar? Is that where I can buy stuff from Egyptian merchants or some new Internet lingo I’m not hip to. As for me being a nerd, nah. I’m a machine built for speed who just happens to know it all. Everything. I’m tough.

(SEND A LETTER)

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More Content?

Mitch to the right.Rob writes:

From Leak Letters #16 (http://chud.com/steadyleak/3608):

"Nick’s Reply: We’ve been sort of slack on the weekends for a while now, but we still hit you up for 5 or 6 things between Friday even and Sunday eve. One of the things we’ll address when I overhaul the site in the next few months is MORE CONTENT! Thanks for noticing!"

Woah woah woah! First of all, who says there isn’t enough content? I have a hell of a time reading everything on the site as there is constant influx of stuff. Constant! Devin’s been putting up theatrical reviews like he’s ablaze and the new DVD crewmembers Wade and Ian are making a serious mark. Not to mention the slightly older DVD crew who are still writing massive amounts. Are there people complaining that there isn’t enough?

Secondly, you just put the site through an overhaul. You have a new overhaul planned? Isn’t there a finite number of overhauls a site is allowed in such a short span of time? Can you describe the overhaul we will be experiencing?

Nick’s Reply:
I’m thinking more in terms of an organizational overhaul as well as beefing up some aspects of the technical side of things. The staff will grow if anything. As for content, I think you can never have enough, as long as it’s good.

(SEND A LETTER)

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Can I Get Your Coates.

Mitch to the left!BC writes:

Fellow Kim Coates appreciatee (that a word?) – hes in the Island, unbilled i
believe. and damn hilarious.

Nick’s Reply: Actually, he’s not hilarious at all. He’s good as the slimy salesman but I found him very unfunny. It wasn’t a comic role. Overall, that film let me down. A shame.

(SEND A LETTER)

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Tripod Alert!

Mitch to the right.Rob writes:

War of the Worlds.

It ruled. It so totally ruled. Dumbasses.

I don’t go to the theaters much. Too many dumb people in one small place makes me want to go to the parking lot and take that smg out of my trunk for a killtacular or two. Usually the movies I choose to see are based on the opinions of you and your staff. You’re always spot on with what works with a flick or potential pitfalls (and you’re great about saying so without spoiling everything like that prick ebert).

I don’t know how anyone could walk out of that theater uttering those two braindead words. The flick was amazing. Sure maybe the time spent in the cellar went on too long, maybe not, and the end was – the end – and you kinda felt cheated with the reveal of you know who. I don’t think you can condemn this movie for not being the battle of Geonosis. I’m greatful much of what took place on this war of the worlds did not resemble ID4 or the near end of Episode II. If anything we all should know what grandious battles look like on an epic scale when it involves aliens versus us. It does kinda feel lame not to see more, but at least we were shown more than what M. Night did in Signs. We got to see the tri-pods decimate people and buildings, we got to see the aliens, we got to see death rays and all that good stuff. I love the fact that the story was kept small as this family made their way through the chaos.

It keeps things personal, you can identify with the characters, and see how they deal with such fantastical settings.

I haven’t even begun raving about the huge technical achievements this movie pulled off. I’m doubting I won your Alienware contest thingy…but I now retract my idea/hope of Spielberg bringing Half-Life 2 to the screen because he did that kind of thing with War of the Worlds. Especially when the family arrived in Boston. The color usage and scale of the machines felt like I was seeing City 17 brought to life. Just on that technical level, without the family stuff, the imagery shown was worth the price of admission.

Now I’m kind of rambling here. But the movie ruled. I just hope the eventual dvd/hd-dvd/blu-ray release if stacked like a mofo.

Nick’s Reply: You won? Can I come over sometime and play with it? I really want to see tha tmovie again but am afraid that the Tim Robbins stuff will irritate me further. I loved the movie but felt his scenes were a little to "big" for the film. Speaking of being too big for film, Jimmy Woods.

(SEND A LETTER)

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SPAM OF THE DAY!

Mitch to the left!John writes:

I have the courage to ask for your assistance to handle this important business believing that you will never let us down either now or in future.l am mr john Akili from Gabon 27 years old,but starying here now in paris france with my mother and sister.I got your contact from MICROSOFT.please consider this letter as a request from a family in their need of your assistance.Before my father’s death,he was Brigadier in charge of arms and ammunition purchase for the Gabon Armed Forced. On behalf of my family I decided to solicit for your assistance to transfer the sum of €21,320,000.000,(Twenty One Million, Three Hundred and Twenty Thousand Euros)inherited from my late father into your personal or company’s account.please if you can assist write me back and l will forward to you more documents and our pictures for more details.hoping to read your reply soon.
Thanks.

Mr. Grunt and Point’s Reply: I killed your father.

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