It’s no secret that I like to collect action figures.  That’s right – I’m that slightly overweight guy in his mid-thirties who still plays with toys… although I actually own my own house as opposed to living in my mom’s basement.  Probably not going to score any points with the Alpha Beta fraternity any time soon, but I probably won’t have to worry about putting cameras up in the Pi house either.

Wait, that wasn’t something to be happy about.

Where was I?  Oh yeah – I dabble in a hobby that would get me hazed at a college run by thinner John Goodman.  I generally stick with the standards – DC, Marvel, Star Wars (non-prequel crap).  But every so often, certain companies will license some pretty cool properties – properties that appeal to our love of film, cartoons, or nostalgia.

And sometimes we geeks get offered some off-the-wall awesomeness.  And Adult Swim is sometimes the culprit.

A few years ago they made their debut with a toy line based off of what was – at the time – their programming line-up.  Including characters from series like Sealab 2021 and The Brak Show, the toy line was the first attempt to appeal to those of us who like our figures a little… off.

Unfortunately, the line didn’t last very long, and it disappeared off shelves before many of us cellar-dwellars could get our Dorito cheese-fingers on them all.

But recently a second attempt has been made to bring an Adult Swim property over from the animated form to the plastic.  And it’s kind of a no-brainer.

Enter Robot Chicken.

Just makes sense, doesn’t it?  A shoe that predicates itself on parodying pop culture through toys should naturally have a toy line of its own.

I recently managed to procure the first wave of these plastic effigies of wrongness, and now I’m going to subject you to mini-reviews of each one – much in the same way that poor chicken is forced to watch multiple televisions filled with ghastly snippets of funny.  And as an added bonus, I’ll be adding a fourth entry that isn’t part of the actual line, but nonetheless is brought to you by the Green and Senreich camp.

First up:

Mad Scientist with Robot Chicken

Might as well start off with the mascots that ring in every episode.  Over the past few seasons these two have become icons in their own right, though they rarely – if ever – show up outside of the show’s opening.

The figures are pretty solid reproductions of their Adult Swim counterparts, with each sporting a decent amount of articulation.  The only downside is that they don’t really offer any special features like the other two in the set have.  As a two-figure set, it would have been nice to at least include a chair to strap the chicken in and a stack of TVs to torture him with.

Rating: Three and a half out of Five Stoopid Monkeys

Candy Bear and Trap

This one could easily be an auditory nightmare if it didn’t have an on/off switch.  Based on an RC sketch where a Gummy Bear gets her leg caught in a trap and has to bit her own leg off to escape, this figure is made of rubber and has no articulation whatsoever.  What it does have is a movable bear trap that closes on her leg and causes her to scream bloody murder for what seems like an eternity:

See where that on/off switch comes in handy?

The best part of this toy is the fact that the bear can be separated from the stand and you can put any figure in the trap for the same effect.  Wanna hear The Undertaker screaming like banshee?  Stuff his foot on the jaws of ouch.  Triple H will never let him live that down.

Rating: Four out of Five Stoopid Monkeys

Robot and Washing Machine

I really can’t put this one into words.  If you’re familiar with the show, you know this character pops up frequently and gets… friendly with metal objects.

It’s easier if I show you:

Rating: Five out of Five Stoopid Monkeys

BONUS: Skeletor vs. Mo-Larr

This cool, little set comes from our action figure friends at Matty Collector.  A special two-figure collectible originally offered at San Diego Comic-Con, this set was made possible by a grant from Mattel – as in Mattel granted the folks at Robot Chicken the permission to make it.  Basing it off the molds Mattel already uses for their He-Man line, these figures not only fit in with the other Robot Chicken figures, they fit perfectly with the He-Man figs too!  Now Eternia can receive the proper dental care it deserves!

Rating: Six out of Five Stoopid Monkeys