Back in the 20th century we were promised many things from the 21st. Flying cars, robots, mutant rebellions all these things have failed to come to pass and that sucks. So dear readers I shall use this blog to take the future to task and call it out on its broken promises, because we as geeks, deserve better.
1. Flying Cars: Is this one so hard to get right? I mean they had them a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away why can’t we have them now? We have been promised flying cars since the 60’s when that show off George Jetson banded his about so it’s about time we got them.
2. Robots: In the future, there will be robots, that was the plan. But here we are in 2011 and their is not a robot in sight. Sure we have machines they claim are robots but they are nothing like the ones of we were supposed to get. Where are our helpful sidekick robots who can fix everything while making a gourmet meal and speaking in a slightly camp British accent? Where are our military robots who end up turning on us when a super computer tells them to? Nowhere that’s where.* Hell we don’t even have clunky over-sized ones that go around shouting “Danger! Danger!” In short we have been shafted.
3. Space Travel: We put a man on the moon then pretty much gave up. That sums up mankind’s galactic conquest. Now I don’t want to belittle the efforts of NASA but is it to much to ask for a couple of Spaceships by now? I mean when the inevitable alien invasion happens all we will have to defend ourselves is a couple of space shuttles…. Actually strike that, we won’t even have them soon, Space Travel then is one big epic fail.
4. Genetic Supermen: Do we have a Six Million Dollar man? No. Do we have Super Serum enhanced soldiers? No. Do we have Radioactive Spider-men? No. Hell we don’t even have Semi Frozen half cyborg Europeans fighting each other. The best we have is steroid enhanced Wrestlers and they are not much use in fighting crime.**
5. Mutated Animals: Giant Fire breathing lizards are in short supply, as are half monkey half crocodile monsters. Actually half anything would be better than cloned sheep. How can we know not to play god with nature if we don’t actually play god with nature?
Those were just a couple of examples off the top my head, I’m sure you can think of more. The point is that we deserve better, we don’t even have a B movie future at the moment and I think it’s way beyond time got some cool stuff.
Hell I would settle for a Ray Gun and Talking car.
*Although in fairness that’s probably a good thing.
**Not all wrestlers take steroids, I feel it important to point this out, in case they hunt me down and hurt me.