I think we all need at least one really nice positive thing about the entertainment business every single day of the year, including weekends. Sometimes it may be something simple, like a video that showcases something fun and sometimes it may be a movie poster that embraces the aesthetic we all want Hollywood to aspire to. Sometimes it may be a long-winded diatribe. Sometimes it’ll be from the staff and extended family of CHUD.com. Maybe even you readers can get in on it. So, take this to the bank. Every day, you will get a little bit of positivity from one column a day here. Take it with you. Maybe it’ll help you through a bad day or give folks some fun things to hunt down in their busy celluloid digesting day.
1.19.11
By David Oliver: Author Page
What I’m Thankful For
White Castles
I’ve lived in L.A for fifteen years. Certain things are far better than Indiana: the weather, the ocean is better than the one in the heartland, and there’s a great diversity of food to be had here. Be that as it may, L.A. doesn’t have White Castles. To a kid who grew up on these delectable gas inducers, this is simply unacceptable. And why is it exactly? Why do I and other transplants have to be deprived of them? From my earliest memories, my mother used to take me and my sister to White Castle. I preferred them to Happy Meals. And I loved Happy Meals. Whenever I would fly home, and my mother picked me up at the airport, I didn’t need to say it. She knew right away that the first place I wanted to go was the White Castle on Second and Market in downtown Louisville. That’s the best one in town. Don’t know why, but their burgers have always been the best.
Here’s a current list of states that have White Castles: Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Tennessee and Wisconsin. So it’s a regional thing then. What? Do the guys at WH Corporate not think that the little burgers are going to be big outside the bible belt? Got news for you fellas, nobody in L.A. is from L.A. We’re all from back east. There are others like me who grew up on these. And we miss them. White Castles still beat any chain oing in L.A. Especially In and Out Burger, whose burgers are okay, fries are cardboard and you have to wait 20 minutes in line to get either of them. Yet Angelenos are hypnotized by this chain. Taken in by the trendiness or something, I don’t know.
I get back home about every two years now to visit family. Over a four day span, I’ll probably hit White Castles six or seven times. Just to get my biennial fill. I’ve watched the price climb up from around 25 cents a slider to somewhere around 60 cents or so. I used to be good with just the regular White Castles; no condiments were necessary. But now I find myself always ordering the jalapeno cheese burgers whenever I go back. And I put ketchup and the mustard on them. I never used to do that. And I always order Big Red It’s the only time I ever drink Big Red or red cream soda of any type.
I once wrote White Castle HQ, asking them to expand to the West Coast. Specifically California. Specifically Hollywood. Specifically at Bronson and Hollywood, near where I used to live. They could have taken the place of the shitty-assed Tommy Burger that’s currently there. I ate there once. The chili burger was cold and I threw up. When I wrote White Castle, I was one voice, with a piece of paper, a pencil, envelope and a stamp. Now I have the power of CHUD. Down the line…who knows?