Plot holes.  Movie mistakes.  Bad edits.  Call them what you will, but every so often a minor, misplaced plot point or character moment causes the film to stumble for a fraction of a second.  Most of the time, viewers either don’t notice or can easily overlook them.  But who looks out for the characters who have been slighted by these missteps?

I got your back, fictional folks.  You’re welcome.

(Here’s part I.)

From a Rebel General to Commander Skywalker After He Interrupts an Important Mission Briefing:

Excuse me.  Commander Skywalker?  I’d like to have a few words with you over here, please.  We’ll discuss your… tactics… in private.  

First of all, where do you get off showing up late to an important mission brief?  There has been some important planning going on, and you’ve been AWOL for the past few days.  Not to mention the fact that you were also AWOL for at least a month after we got our asses handed to us by the Empire on Hoth.  I know that evacuation had everyone scattered to the outer rim, but there are contact protocols in place that everyone is supposed to follow so that we can regroup.  EVERYONE.  You failed to contact your supervisor, and then you put your friends and co-workers in jeopardy by showing up out of nowhere in the Bespin system without back-up.  If not for the quick thinking of Princess Leia and that wookiee, you would most likely be floating away with the rest of the garbage in the upper stratosphere of Cloud City.

Then what do you do?  Instead of adhering to orders that you were to remain on medical leave while you recouperated from losing your hand, you concoct a half-assed rescue mission all the way to Tatooine to rescue General Solo from a known gangster.  Again, this was done without approval from command, and without knowledge from anyone above you in the chain of command.

Then you have the gall to show up in the middle of an important – and crucial – mission brief, interrupting it in the process so that you can say hello to your friends.  General Madine and Admiral Ackbar are both very busy.  Their time is valuable.  Both of them have their own orders to carry out once this operation goes into effect.  You showed a complete lack of respect for two superior officers with the stunt you just pulled.  Were you aware that many Bothans died for the information we received that is integral to our attack plan?  No, of course you weren’t.  You might have known that, had you bothered to report on time.

Look, I know that you were integral to our victory over the first Death Star.
And I get it that your experiences on Hoth were quite traumatic.  Supposedly, the base ended up with a small infestation of wampa after your incident, though we seem to be only able to find an incredibly small amount of evidence to support this claim.  Needless to say, those creatures were nasty and I understand how difficult that might be to get over.  It certainly affected your performance against those walkers.  You’re a good fighter, Skywalker, and you show a lot of promise.  But, you don’t know every damn thing.  And just because you have saved the Rebellion once or twice doesn’t mean you can just wave your hand and make things do whatever you want.  There’s still a chain of command, and you will adhere to it.  Insubordination will not be tolerated.

The fleet’s about to break up.  Since you already volunteered to be a part of General Solo’s infiltration team, we’ll have to continue this later.  This issue isn’t over yet.  Mon Mothma is furious and wants disciplinary action to be taken.  You will take full responsibility for your actions, Commander.  It’s a shame.  If not for your rash decisions, you might have been made General alongside your friend Solo and that new guy Calrissian who just got an automatic Generalship thanks to some maneuver called “The Battle of Tanaab”.  I swear, they just give commissions away sometimes.

Better get to your shuttle.  And I better not hear that you’ve abandoned your post again.  Is that understood?  Dismissed.

Oh, and by the way – you may wanna clean yourself up before you head out.  Those shuttle quarters are cramped, and you smell like wet mynock with just a hint of 900 year-old joints slathered in Old Ben Gay and death.  Where the hell have you been hanging out, in a swamp?