No HIV prevention from Viagra?

I was watching today’s protested Red Sox/Blue Jays game [good on ya, Red Sox] and a commercial for Viagra came on. A really weird one where a bunch of older guys all seemed to be having too much fun with what they were doing and then I realized that it was a Viagra commercial and the subtext was either:

  1. Cocks were about to slam each other with reckless abandon. Now I know penis to penis contact isn’t fruitful [but it’s fun!], but when you’re hopped up on cockpills your priorities change.
  2. They all had massive rod-ons and were comparing boner stories.
  3. They were all about to go home and fuck a hole through their aging wife’s soft back tissue.
  4. Forced entry was back on the menu.
  5. They knew they were gonna pop some pills and redistribute their blood supply against the wills of their own brains and survival instincts.
  6. You have to smile when you’re three hours into a seven hour cock-on.

Either way the advertisement did little to make me want to run out and get a prescription, partially because my dick gets hard at the mention of a nice pizza, let alone at the idea of someone I find attractive wanting it to pulverize their cervix but also because Viagra seems like something you should consider after therapy, voodoo, ball-grasping, and a night with Shirley Henderson have all failed.

I liked Viagra better when it was called seeing a girl bend over to pick up a pencil.

But the real boneblaster in the commercial was the little text crawl that came up near the end of the damn thing:

Does not prevent HIV

Now, I’m not a seismologist but I am pretty much able to figure out that a pill that sends your blood surging to your dick as if there’s a free cocktail there [and there is ladies!] isn’t going to keep the HIV virus from entering your body and getting you all Philadelphia‘d. Even me, a regular joe with little to no scientific or medical experience knows that that only way to keep AIDS and HIV outside you is to wash your hands after you peep-peep and put a little doily on the toilet lid before you unleash butt tinkles.

The only way a pill is going to prevent HIV is if you quickly shove it into your AIDS rapist’s prickhole as he charges you from behind.

I’m here to tell you, it’s better to just not let it get to that stage.

– Nick Nunziata is no longer fending off AIDS with just his eternally hard cock.