Nothing I can tell you will make you love a movie when you have already decided that you hate it.
Not to say that my powers of persuasion are ineffective (although, you can be the judge of that), rather that when it comes to something as subjective as enjoying or not enjoying a film, the rational mind doesn’t matter much.
If that’s the case, then, what’s the point of reviewing movies? Why does one particular person’s view matter more than another’s when, in the end, it all comes down to each individual’s personal opinion?
Because a good film review can be a standalone piece of art. You can read a critique without having seen the movie and be thoroughly entertained by that person’s dissection of the film. Even if you have little to no interest in a movie, you should still be entertained by the review itself, by the reviewer’s style of writing, just like you can be by short stories, magazine articles, or newspaper columns.
Just like any other form of creative writing or art in general, there will be good reviews and garbage reviews. The good ones will transcend the movie and be something worthwhile completely on its own.
And if they convince you to see an amazing movie that you may have otherwise written off… well, that’s the perfect review.