DEAD RISING 2
Capcom
360, PS3
9/28
MSRP: $59.99
CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!
The way it looks, Dead Rising 2 basically fixed everything about the first game except for the minor fact that it still plays like you’re steering a pile of dry walrus turds with a shotgun sticking out of it at 30 frames a second. Still, some people were able to let the game skate by on pure charm, and more power to you, because as it stands, when even the mighty Valve can only innovate so much with zombies, being able to hit one in the head with a combination weed-whacker/cruisinart/Orange Julius Gun can only carry a game so far.
GUITAR HERO: WARRIORS OF ROCK
Activision
360, PS3, Wii
9/28
MSRP: $59.99 360, PS3; $49.99 Wii
CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!
You know, I’m willing to bet somewhere between and this game, a really fun, innovative, hilarious little music title could’ve come about. Instead, Brutal Legend has metric tons of charm in its characters and story, and definitely loves the genres it lampoons, but remains, in the immortal words of Yahtzee Croshaw, “afraid to come out to its parents as an RTS”. Meanwhile, this newest Guitar Hero not only fails as a Guitar Hero game, since the same bullshit charting issues that have plagued this series since Harmonix left remain, but now it’s saddled with a new level of awful metal epic writing that makes Dragonforce albums look like the goddamned Ring Cycle.
FINAL FANTASY XIV
Square Enix
PC
9/30
MSRP: $49.99
CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!
I mentioned something to the effect a few weeks ago about RTSes not working on consoles. I suppose it’s only fair play that someone continues to try and grift a console RPG experience into PC territory, but it doesn’t make it less embarrassing. It’s like finding out your sweet 83-year old senile grandmother just opened her own porn site. Yeah, somebody’s probably interested, but you’re sure as hell not one of them, and you really don’t want to associate with anyone who would be.
OOOHHHHH: ON THE DLC TIP
HYDROPHOBIA
Dark Energy Digital
Xbox Live
9/30
$14.99/1200 MS pts
Despite a female protagonist who seems to be there for more than fulfilling a T&A quota, and a story which shows some small measure of forethought (though the voice acting leaves something to be desired), I worry a little about this game being an overblown tech demo. That said, holy Christ, look at the tech. The water effects in Bioshock look fantastic. The water effects here make Bioshock look like Mario Bros. Stage 2-2. A little independent publisher may have just slain one of the twin demons of CG animation, and that’s worth supporting on its own. But then, factor in that a full fledged 8 hour actioner is being offered for a quarter of the cost of some of its contemporaries. This is a practice I could get used to. If it turns out to be even a pimple on the ass of Uncharted, getting your money’s worth won’t be a difficult task.
ROCK BAND TUESDAY
Anthrax Pack 01 ($8.49/680 MS pts)
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