We’re
entering a new age here at CHUD, with a refreshed stable of writers, a
re-energized concentration of efforts, and a focus on consistent,
knowledge-backed fun. To ring in this new era for the site we wanted to
bring you a truly special, truly memorable, truly incredible list that
characterizes what CHUD is about, and we think we’ve cooked up just the
thing.

BODILY FUNCTION JUNCTION
The 25 Grossest, Most Execrable Moments in Film.

We’re
here to explore the most depraved, flinch-worthy, vomit-inducing (or
vomit-involving) moments ever put to film. We’re not interested in
simple gore and viscera here… We’re looking for the
shittiest, pusiest, cummiest, pukeiest, piss-filled scenes in the
history of motion-pictures. Some will be huge, some will be small, but
they’ll all be gross. We’ve also put an unprecedented amount of effort
into pre-planning, scheduling, and dividing the effort for this list,
so expect it to hit you every one of the next 25 weekdays (with a
number of special surprises planned for the weekends!).

So
without further ado, grab your nearest complimentary airsick bag (or
maybe just a whole trashcan) and jump into CHUD’s newest list.

——————————————————–
DAY 12

…of the canine!
——————————————————–

THE MOVIE?


Van Wilder (2002)

Is seven years in college too long?  Depends on whom you ask.  More importantly, it depends on what is learned.  The book learnin’ has its place and its use.  But more importantly, what college should really teach us is how we deal with adversity.  For instance, Van Wilder dealing with a fraternity full of douchebags.  Does he shrivel up like a used placenta and hope the problem goes away?  Does he confront it head on and risk a possible violent confrontation?  Does he get angry at the world and become embittered?  No.  What he does is stroke off a bulldog multiple times into a half dozen donuts to give a whole new meaning to the term Krispy Kreme.

THE GROSS?


WHO DOES IT COMES OUT OF?

The canine lead of the picture, affectionately known as Colossus:

Or more accurately, his severely overstuffed dogtacles:


WHERE DOES IT GO?

A bunch of these into a tasteful (and apparently tasty) gift basket: 

One would be bad enough, but the frat guys got the deluxe party pack.  It’s basically six of cum, half a jizzin of the other.

ANY CASUALTIES?

Um…yeah:

Not to mention all the bitches that missed out.  To say nothing of my appetite for any type of filled donut…ever again.

HOW GROSS IS IT:

It’s a dog spunk eclair, spread all over man faces, so I’m thinking pretty friggin’ gross.  With Richard gargling it and sucking it straight out of the donut, and some other frat boy saying he thinks he’s had one of these before, it’s just that little bit extra added to, hands down, the most blatant display of dog chowder in film history.  If this had been man sauce, well, this film would have been rumor and rumor only.  Nevertheless, as bad as the situation was, it wasn’t all bad:


Today’s installment was written by David Oliver.