• The chewing tobacco and amusement parks don’t mix scene from The Sandlot.
• Edward Furlong filling up a beer pitcher with boot in Detroit Rock City.
• Jack Nicholson spraying a church congregation with cherry hurl in The Witches of Eastwick.
• Vincent Cassel puking up a Raiders of the Lost Arc vomit-boulder in Guesthouse Paradiso.
• Isabelle Huppert up-chucking after her husband gets shot in Time of the Wolf.
• Damon Packard’s lengthy surrealist ralph from Reflections of Evil.
• Lardass Hogan’s classic barf-chain-reaction revenge from Stand By Me.
…to appropriately honor them all. The elimination process was simply too much for me to handle. So I had to get very, very drunk on very, very cheap whiskey and spend a lonely, sweaty night crumpled on my bathroom floor mat praying before the porcelain god, looking for answers. Thankfully, the porcelain god is a benevolent one, and in my fevered agony these four films appeared before me.
The Movie: Bad Taste (1987)
The Puker: Robert (Peter Jackson)
The Emetic: Aliens think vomit is a delicious treat.
Peter Jackson truly deserves his hat trick on this list. The furry Kiwi’s first three films are so joyfully depraved and fluid-filled, it was simply meant to be. Meet the Feebles justifiably could have appeared on this list for any of its many disgusting puppet vomiting scenes, but this nugget from Bad Taste earns extra points given that all that green jell-o salad vomit is coming from Jackson’s own mouth.
The Movie: Team America: World Police (2004)
The Puker: Gary (Trey Parker)
The Emetic: Too much alcohol and self-loathing.
Speaking of puppet vomit. Though this scene is arguably far funnier than it is gross, one has to give credit where credit is due. Not only is this one of the longest uninterrupted solo-puke scenes in film history, it is assuredly the only puke scene to feature sputtering vomiting.
The Movie: Henry Fool (1997)
The Puker: Simon Grim (James Urbaniak)
The Emetic: Girls’ butts are gross?
The Ventures Bros’s Rusty Venture puking on a girl’s ass? How does that not go on the list? Plus, it is really not where you imagine a scene where a girl demands a nerd kiss her bare ass will end up.
The Movie: Taxedermia (2006)
The Pukers: Big fat professional eating champions.
The Emetic: Self-induced to make room for more food.
Let’s go out with something special. This Hungarian gross-out anthology features a lot of fat guys puking into a lot of buckets of various sizes. Here is a yummy montage…