Just a quick heads up that EW.com’s Michael Ausiello has his Fall Cheat Sheet up: the list of premiere dates for returning and new TV shows.  Included below with a few choice comments from Uncle Mitch:

Tuesday, Sept. 7

Sons of Anarchy, 10 p.m. (FX)

Wednesday, Sept. 8
America’s Next Top Model, 8 p.m. (The CW)
Hellcats, 9 p.m. (The CW) NEW
Terriers, 10 p.m. (FX) NEW

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Perfect, I’d been looking for a good night to hang myself.

Thursday, Sept. 9

The Vampire Diaries, 8 p.m. (The CW)

Nikita, 9 p.m. (The CW) NEW

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Nikita could be aces, but who screwed up at the CW and cast a minority in it?

Monday, Sept. 13

90210, 8 p.m. (The CW)

Gossip Girl, 9 p.m. (The CW)

Tuesday, Sept. 14
One Tree Hill, 8 p.m. (The CW)
Life Unexpected, 9 p.m. (The CW)
Parenthood, 10 p.m. (NBC)

Uncle Mitch’s Take: These three shows represent the various stages in life at which kids fuck things up for you.

Wednesday, Sept. 15
Survivor: Nicaragua, 8 p.m. (CBS)
Outlaw, 10 p.m. (NBC) NEW

Uncle Mitch’s Take: What’re the chances of Barry Switzer showing up to vote Jimmy Johnson off the island for November Sweeps? 

Thursday, Sept. 16
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 10 p.m. (FX)
The Apprentice, 10 p.m. (NBC)
The League, 10:30 p.m. (FX)

Sunday, Sept. 19
Boardwalk Empire, 8 p.m. (HBO) NEW

Monday, Sept. 20
Dancing With the Stars, 8 p.m. (ABC)
How I Met Your Mother, 8 p.m. (CBS)
House, 8 p.m. (Fox)
Chuck, 8 p.m. (NBC)
Rules of Engagement, 8:30 p.m. (CBS)
Two and a Half Men, 9 p.m. (CBS)
Lone Star, 9 p.m. (Fox) NEW
The Event, 9 p.m. (NBC) NEW
Mike & Molly, 9:30 p.m. (CBS) NEW
Castle, 10 p.m. (ABC)
Hawaii Five-0, 10 p.m. (CBS) NEW
Chase, 10 p.m. (NBC) NEW

Uncle Mitch’s Take: The “real” Event will be to watch how fast Alex O’Loughlin can kill another CBS show.

Tuesday, Sept. 21
NCIS, 8 p.m. (CBS)
Glee, 8 p.m. (Fox)
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m. (NBC)
NCIS: Los Angeles, 9 p.m. (CBS)
Raising Hope, 9 p.m. (Fox) NEW
Running Wilde, 9:30 p.m. (Fox) NEW
Detroit 1-8-7, 10 p.m. (ABC) NEW

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Raising Hope was originally going to be on NBC, titled Losing Hope.

Wednesday, Sept. 22
The Middle, 8 p.m. (ABC)
Hell’s Kitchen, 8 p.m. (Fox)
Undercovers, 8 p.m. (NBC) NEW
Better With You, 8:30 p.m. (ABC) NEW
Modern Family, 9 p.m. (ABC)
Criminal Minds, 9 p.m. (CBS)
Law & Order: SVU, 9 p.m. (NBC)
Cougar Town, 9:30 p.m. (ABC)
The Defenders, 10 p.m. (CBS) NEW
The Whole Truth, 10 p.m. (ABC) NEW

Thursday, Sept. 23
My Generation, 8 p.m. (ABC) NEW
The Big Bang Theory, 8 p.m. (CBS)
Bones, 8 p.m. (Fox)
Community, 8 p.m. (NBC)
30 Rock, 8:30 p.m. (NBC)
$#*! My Dad Says, 8:30 p.m. (CBS) NEW
Grey’s Anatomy, 9 p.m. (ABC)
CSI, 9 p.m. (CBS)
Fringe, 9 p.m. (Fox)
The Office, 9 p.m. (NBC)
Outsourced, 9:30 p.m. (NBC) NEW
Private Practice, 10 p.m. (ABC)
The Mentalist, 10 p.m. (CBS)

Uncle Mitch’s Take: I would’a figured Beau Biden for being the star of  $#*! My Dad Says…

Friday, Sept. 24
Medium, 8 p.m. (CBS)
Smallville, 8 p.m. (The CW)
CSI: NY, 9 p.m. (CBS)
Supernatural, 9 p.m. (The CW)
The Good Guys, 9 p.m. (Fox)
Blue Bloods, 10 p.m. (CBS) NEW

Uncle Mitch’s Take: Really am gonna miss yanking it to Erica Durance…

Sunday, Sept. 26
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 8 p.m. (ABC)
The Simpsons, 8 p.m. (Fox)
The Amazing Race, 8:30 p.m. (CBS)
The Cleveland Show, 8:30 p.m. (Fox)
Desperate Housewives, 9 p.m. (ABC)
Family Guy, 9 p.m. (Fox)
Dexter, 9 p.m. (Showtime)
Brothers & Sisters, 10 p.m. (ABC)
Undercover Boss, 10 p.m. (CBS)
Bored to Death, 10 p.m. (HBO)
Eastbound & Down, 10:30 p.m. (HBO)

Uncle Mitch’s Take: My nephew Nick’s still trying to convince people his craft service gig on Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark was for Undercover Boss…

Tuesday, Sept. 28
No Ordinary Family, 9 p.m. (ABC) NEW
The Good Wife, 10 p.m. (CBS)

Friday, Oct. 1
Human Target, 8 p.m. (Fox)

Uncle Mitch’s Take: This can’t friggin’ come back fast enough.

Sunday, Oct. 3
American Dad, 9:30 p.m. (Fox)
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m. (CBS)

Wednesday, Oct. 27
Friday Night Lights (DirecTV)

Wednesday, Nov. 10
Lie to Me, 8 p.m. (Fox)