VIDEO GAMES

section by: Justin
Clark and SCOTT!

MADDEN NFL 11
EA
360, PS3, Wii, PS2, PSP
8/10
MSRP: $59.99 360/PS3; $49.99 Wii; $39.99 PSP/PS2

CLICK TO BUY FROM AMAZON!









Another game where I simply don’t meet the requisite fuck criteria. But, its impossible to pretend this isn’t THE game of the year for a lot of people, because it’s usually the ONLY game per year for a lot of people. Good for you guys. I’m mostly just gonna sit back, watch the frenzy happen, and get my kicks over telling asshole frat boys how much GameFlow and the strategy pad sound an awful lot like the macros and hotkeys from your average MMORPG. Between these games and fantasy football, sports fans have become RPG players so gradually as to be virtually imperceptible. And that tickles me.


OOOHHHHH: ON THE DLC TIP


RED DEAD REDEMPTION: LEGENDS AND KILLERS

Rockstar Games

XBox Live, Playstation Network
8/10
$9.99/800 MS points











Am I disappointed Red Dead Redemption‘s not getting the single player DLC  love GTA IV did? A little. Am I gonna complain when the multiplayer DLC we are getting allows you to joust Indians and kill your opponents with a tomahawk to the chest? Christ no.



DRAGON AGE ORIGINS: THE GOLEMS OF AMGARRAK
Bioware/EA
XBox Live, Playstation Network, PC
8/10
$4.99/400 MS points











For those of you who felt Dragon Age just wasn’t difficult enough, Bioware is the sugar daddy who couldn’t stop pimping if he tried, adding yet another set of DLC which includes a brand spanking new dungeon and a couple of ball-crushingly hard enemies for you to take down. All this while they’re already hard at work on this game’s sequel and Mass Effect 3. Someone has investigated and made sure there isn’t some slave labor law being violated over there, right?



MONDAY NIGHT COMBAT
Uber Entertainment
XBox Live Arcade
8/10
1200 MS points










The Summer of Arcade keeps on keeping on. This is probably the title most likely to be overlooked this month (though I remain dubious there are still people out there who care about Lara Croft), and to that end, the price tag is probably the biggest deterrent its ever been so far. And that’s just unfortunate, because this does look like a cool little class-based shooter that is probably as close to a new Smash TV as we’ll ever get in this day and age. The show’s mascot in this game is a giant foam robot (think Hitchhiker’s Guide’s Marvin, but green) who runs about begging you to shoot him whenever he runs by. I don’t know if that’s work $15, but it is funny as hell.



ROCK BAND TUESDAY

Ministry Pack 02 ($5.49/440 MS points)

  • Stigmata
  • Thieves
  • Jesus Built My Hotrod


$1.99/160 MS pts each











This is the Ministry pack that should’ve happened the first time. The band can get samey at times, but their early stuff provides the perfect industrial ass-kicking in the right doses. I don’t know how entertaining Jesus Built My Hot Rod could be as gameplay as pretty much the only proper environment to enjoy that song is driving down a highway at no slower than 120 mph, but it’s a welcome addition to the library.