section by: Justin Clark and SCOTT!
NCAA FOOTBALL 11
EA
360, PS3, PS2
7/13
MSRP: $59.99, $39.99 PS2
……yep, it’s a college football game alright. Enjoy your roster update, sports fans.
DRAGON QUEST IX
Square Enix
DS
7/11
MSRP: $34.99
It’s always deeply sad and embarrassing to watch Japan court international audiences with their RPGs lately. This time, realizing that every American made game has pointless, vestigial multiplayer nowadays, Squeenix followed suit, making the new Dragon Quest, essentially, a small scale MMORPG, which, as we are well aware, is a genre that’s enjoyed great success on the Nintendo D–yeah, screw it. Terrible idea, right up there with Final Fantasy XII‘s micromanaged “Western-inspired” battle system. Stick to what you’re good at, Japan. The furries demand more anthropomorphized farm animals in S&M gear.
OOOHHHHH: ON THE DLC TIP
DEATHSPANK
Hothead Games
XBox Live Arcade, PSN
7/13
I admit to still being hesitant to play the Monkey Island games, even the remakes, only because there’s no way I can go into those and pretend I don’t notice the swarm cloud of old school PC gamer hype looming around them. And if there’s one lesson I’ve learned in all my years, it’s that, Valve games notwithstanding, PC gamers generally cannot be trusted when it comes to telling console players what they’re missing out on. So, when you hear that the guy behind the Monkey Island games has a new, original Diablo-esque RPG coming out, some will see a game with amazing humor saddled with stiff gameplay of questionable quality, others probably haven’t stopped squealing in psychotic, childish glee yet to have an opinion.
ROCK BAND TUESDAY
The Vines Pack 01 ($8.49/680 MS points)
- Get Out
- He’s a Rocker
- Orange Amber +
- Outtathaway +
- Ride
Sweet Billy Pilgrim – Future Perfect Tense +
+ – Available for Lego Rock Band
$1.99/160 MS pts each
On one hand, The Vines at least know more than three chords, and their vocalist sounds like both his testicles have successfully descended. On the other hand, they commit the more cardinal sin a punk band could ever commit in that they’re boring as fuck. Which, call me cynical, makes me wonder why they’re not more successful. Maybe the Rock Band exposure will help, especially once people figure out, at some point, that damn near EVERYONE has heard that goddamned Ride song once or twice in the past year or so.
Thankfully, that Sweet Billy Pilgrim track is there to counteract the boredom. Buy it to support the awesome experimental pop band, play it for the banjo.