section by: Justin Clark and SCOTT!
LEGO HARRY POTTER: YEARS 1-4
Warner Home Video Games
360, PS3, Wii, DS, PSP
6/29
MSRP: $59.99, $49.99 Wii, $29.99 DS/PSP
The Lego games have proven something that I always suspected for years, but needed these games to test the hypothesis: Legos are always, will always be awesome. These games simply do not age. Though stagnant and repetitive at times, there’s such an irresistible charm to these things, and the people making them absolutely *get* why these games work, and the little things crammed into this newest iteration suggest that they might actually be trying to combat the slight, stale nature of these things. Kids, on the other hand, generally won’t give a fuck about anything in that last paragraph, and will flock to this sucker like a stranger with candy.
NINETY-NINE NIGHTS 2
Konami
360
6/29
MSRP: $59.99
CLICK TO BUY FROM AMAZON!
Eventually, someone will have to sit me down and explain, in detail, how people keep fucking this up. Dynasty Warriors, but prettier, plus magic. How hard can that be? Koei could churn one of those out while half the dev team’s on the shitter if they cared enough. Meanwhile, Microsoft and Konami have both taken swipes at this and failed miserably, while Square and Capcom have tried this with their own failed franchises with similar results. There has to be some ancient Chinese curse involved or something.
SINGULARITY
Activision
360, PS3, PC
6/29
MSRP: $59.99
Raven Software managed to sift out the tiniest of diamonds from the Devil’s Tower of multimedia shitpiles the world knows as X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Now it seems they might have pulled off an equally impressive task by making an FPS that isn’t trying to be Bioshock, nor involves space marines, and actually has a gimmick–in this case, time travel–that may actually work off the drawing board. That’s almost as miraculous as magnets.
SIN AND PUNISHMENT: STAR SUCCESSOR
Treasure
Wii
6/27
MSRP: $49.99
Attention hardcore Nintendo fans who haven’t jumped ship to the big-boy consoles: This game is your last chance. Either you pick this up, and reward an awesome developer taking the time to polish the everliving fuck out of a glorious shooter for consumption by an American audience after hearing us bitch and moan for years about how we never got its predecessor, or you officially lose your right to make a single complaint about this system ever again. And I mean any complaint. Lost a Wiimote? Fuck you. Netflix not giving you the resolution you want? Fuck you. Just got Falcon Punched out even though you had only 72% damage? Fuck you. Just got beat over the head 33 times in public by a crowbar-wielding hobo who stole your credit cards and your sandwich and your woman? Fuck you. That one doesn’t even have anything to do with the Wii but you deserve your fate nonetheless, you spineless, unsupportive punks. My well of sympathy for Wii owners will run absolutely dry should this game fail.
OTHER GAMES OF INTEREST
All Points Bulletin (EA; PC; $49.99)
Naughty Bear (360, PS3; $49.99)
Deathsmiles (Cave; 360; $49.99)
Sniper: Ghost Warrior (City Interactive; XBox 360, PC; $39.99/$29.99)
The Last Airbender (THQ; Wii, DS; $39.99/$29.99)
ROCK BAND TUESDAY
Nickelback Pack 01 ($9.99/800 MS pts)
- Burn It to the Ground
- Figured You Out
- Never Again
- Photograph
- Rockstar
- This Afternoon
$1.99/160 MS pts each
“Sometimes, being an adult means doing things you maybe don’t want to do.” – Harmonix’s Casey Malone, via Twitter