A lot of the reviews I’ve seen for these flicks regurgitate the stuff from the Wikipedia pages and IMDB trivia. Or the stuff on the commentary tracks or special features. I’d rather have a little fun. So, if you’ll indulge me…
COMPARISON #1
The Titles:
vs.
Advantage: Forbidden World
Luckily the films have nudity, alien worm rape, and faces melting off or I’d be incensed.
Glowing Head Dudes:
Advantage: Galaxy of Terror
chose not to include a glowing head dude, which was a grievous error. Maybe they’d exhausted all of their brilliance with the cancer supper to have had the bandwidth to add a glowing head man. Better yet, the glowing head dude speaks in a really stiff and boring voice. If that were me I’d be cracking all sorts of jokes about my ridiculous dome.
Space Vistas
vs.
Advantage: Forbidden World.
COMPARISON #4
Maggot Rapists
This is the maggot voted ‘Most Likely to Embiggen and Rape’.
Advantage: Galaxy of Terror
Childhood Story: I was about nine years old in 1982 and I was sleeping over at my older cousins’ place in either Orlando or Rockland County, NY (I forget which) and while pretending to sleep I overheard them discussing this movie. At that time I had no knowledge of what ‘rape’ meant but I knew it wasn’t a splendid adventure for at least one of the participants.
The 80’s was a literal rapefest. X-Tro. The Beast Within. This worm. Humanoids from the Deep. The Pinball Machine. Looking at the fashion of the era, maybe we were asking for it.
COMPARISON #5
Naked Women?
Forbidden World‘s lithe and timeless full nakedness.
vs.
Galaxy of Terror‘s 80’s pneumatic semi-nakedness.
Advantage: Forbidden World
“Nice towel.”
In the shower as they bathe each other’s tits and ass.
COMPARISON #6
Ethical treatment of Happy Days actresses?
Look it’s Erin Moran, from Happy Days! It’s squeezing her little head!
Look it’s a Joey Slotnick head doubling as Erin Moran, from Happy Days! His eye seems to have skipped town!
This was Erin Moran, from Happy Days! Chachi, perform CPR!
Advantage: Forbidden World
No friend of the Fonz takes the long walk in the film about the man-made space beast immune to everything but a cancer roll-up.
COMPARISON #7
Aloha Mr. Hand!
My Favorite Blue Vagina.
Advantage: Galaxy of Terror
A feature-length documentary on the making of Galaxy of Terror. That’s the joke and the punchline.
Both films are centered around isolated groups of people getting their ass kicked by each other and space monsters. They set the bar for the stuff we’re still ponying up dough for or watching on late night cable. One could trace a line throughout film history of those people who lived on the fringe and made really fun little unpretentious movies. Guys like William Castle and Ed Wood and Russ Meyer and many others like them.
Of course, anyone who knows better doesn’t need me to tell them. I own a foreign DVD of Galaxy of Terror and I overpaid like hell for it. And it was a privilege. To see these films get the royal treatment with participation from the stars (you may have heard of Robert Englund, Grace Zabriskie, and Sid Haig). Though they overvalue the art and craft of these flicks in their segments, it’s fun to see.
“Don’t fret. You’ll be better in no time!”
WINNER:
YOU, if buy these.