section by: Justin Clark and SCOTT!
TOY STORY 3: THE VIDEO GAME
Disney Interactive
360, PS3, PC, Wii, DS, PSP
6/15
MSRP: $49.99; $29.99 DS and PSP
Well, it’s a Disney movie tie-in. Set your expectations for low. Having said that, Disney does seem to have put an effort into this one to keep the kids entertained for more than 4 hours on a lazy Saturday. For one thing, assuming the rugrats haven’t sold it by then, there will be DLC on the PS3 with mini-games that will be compatible with the Playstation Move. The other thing is that you can play the game as a straight forward version of the movie, or you can play in the Toy Box, which is exactly what it sounds like: the pre-school room from the film made into an open world game where you can do missions, or just mess around with all the toys to your hearts content. I could mention that you could actually buy every toy in the game in real life for less than the cost of the game itself, but then I’d have to mention how I had to go to school in blizzards wearing a potato sack, fight grizzlys with my Trapper Keeper, and drag the pelts uphill both ways or something.
OOOOOHHH: ON THE DLC TIP
FINAL FANTASY IX
Square Enix
Playstation Network
6/15
$9.99
I don’t know if it objectively supplants number 6 as the best game in the series, but for this fan’s money, FF9 is certainly my favorite. The innocence, quirkiness, and fun of the 8- and 16-bit titles, the solid gameplay of the 32-bit titles, and the last completely endearing cast of characters this series would ever know. It didn’t sell nearly as well as its predecessors the first time around. PS3 owners: CORRECT THAT MISTAKE.
BULLET HELL GUNDEMONIUM COLLECTION
Sony Online Entertainment/Rockin’ Android
Playstation Network
6/15
$14.99; $5.99 separately
See that screenshot to the right there? I want you to stare at it for 30 seconds. I’ll wait.
If you slowly and unconsciously smiled the smile of the criminally insane, this set is for you. If you looked around that screen, plotting the intended course of the bullets, had yourself a little “blind spot” moment like in Pitch Black, this set is for you. If you thought about tilting the screen on its side, you probably imported this shit last year, but still, this set is for you.
If you experienced any of the above, and are female, I love you.
If you couldn’t stop staring at the cutesy anime character, click here.
Thank you for your time and cooperation.
ROCK BAND TUESDAY
Ozzy Osbourne Pack 01 ($9.99/800 MS pts)
- Crazy Babies
- Diggin’ Me Down
- I Don’t Wanna Stop
- Let Me Hear You Scream
- No More Tears
- Soul Sucker
$1.99/160 MS pts per track
Once again, Rock Band becomes the platform of choice to debut new music from established artists. Perfect timing since it was getting about that time where I start forgetting Ozzy Osbourne made music. It may not be particularly good music, but I can’t deny there’s a bit of my heart that smiles because that trollish incoherent son of a bitch is still around. Of course, for everyone else who couldn’t give a damn, they were kind enough to stick Crazy Babies and No More Tears in there so you could remember the glory days. Give your RB character a blond wig and have him fail to successfully brood in front of a piano in his honor.