It’s been a while, but there just haven’t been things to really boil my hash. So in the interest of content, I have pulled together events from the past to combine them with current events to make this Super-Sized version of the “Dear…” column. Enjoy!

Dear Valentine’s Day,
Please stop occurring during NBA All-Star Weekend.

Respectfully,
Me

Dear Old Woman in front of me at my daughter’s school who REEKS of onions,
Deodorant.

Respectfully,
Me

Dear Me,
If you feel the urge to take the picture, take it, because you probably won’t get a second opportunity.

Respectfully,
Me

Dear Universal Pictures,
I commend you for making a film like the Wolfman.

Respectfully,
Me

Dear Woman sitting in front of me who saw the exact same “Please No Talking” propaganda before the movie as I did,
SHUT…UP.

Respectfully,
Me

Dear Over-Developed & Under-Aged Girl wearing the tight “Got Milk?” top,
Go home and put on a sweater, jacket or loose fitting button-up shirt and smack BOTH your parents in the face afterwards.

Respectfully,
Me

Dear Lamebook.com,
I think I love you.

Respectfully,
Me

Dear Fellow Registered Democrats,
If we used to be the political party that questioned our government and spearheaded logic and common sense over blind political rule, why do you keep silencing me when I want to question our current President (which I voted for) and choose not to blindly agree to his every path?

Respectfully,
Me