I figured in addition to the large List of
Dumb columns that run a couple of
times

a month it’d be good to give folks a
daily dose, since there’s
absolutely

no shortage of dumb shit out there in the world. Help keep
this
thing

going by sending your DUMBS to me
through THIS
LINK.

Also,

please spread the word through your Tweets and Facebook and
MySpace

updates.

Though CHUD.com’s not for everyone, stuff like
this

is!
 
04/13 – As if it wasn’t the worst already…


Photo by Nick
Nunziata.

I love animals (except my beagle who’s the antichrist… if Christ was a beagle) but I secretly wish all those people who drive around with their tiny dogs on their laps would lose control of their vehicle and crash into an explosion. So dangerous. So dumb. Having just gotten back from Los Angeles and seen just how much overpampering and overprioritizing they do with their dogs, it makes me sad to be a small gentleman. There’s at least two or three places within ten minutes of me that aren’t about grooming pets or selling pet supplies, but actual pet SALONS. Like day spas for animals. Nightmare.

This item on its best day is the worst. When it’s for humans it’s the absolute dumbest. For animals it transcends dumb and finds a new depravity previously unnamed. I’ll call it Kevin. This shit is Kevin.

I love how the text on the front actually addresses THE DOG.

“Keeps you warm and your paws free.”

Dogs have fur. They come equipped with all the features associating with functioning on Earth. Putting sweaters on them and shoving them into bags with holes makes you sixteen shades of douche.

I love dogs but when I see this I see a perfect dog transportation system. As in, you throw that little fuck across town in his little bag. Blanket coat with sleeves my ass. It’s a trebuchet.