Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Item of the Day: Heidi Montag, late of The Hills and plastic surgeon’s table, wants to be in a shark move. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie where her tits are in 3D, not necessarily the shark. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie where her tits are in 3D, not necessarily the shark…that she wrote herself.
God bless both Syfy and People magazine for the following: One of the characters Montag wants to play is “a lifeguard named Summer” in a script she wrote herself. “I am making the first 3D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a
small beach town and I save the day with my 3D boobs,” Montag says.
“I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!” And while that project has yet to be greenlit, Montag is as confident
as ever that she’ll make a splash in the film industry. Says Montag,
“I’m now finally free to start my career and my new life as female
mogul in Hollywood!”
I can’t possibly hope to add anything better than that.