THE SPECIAL EDITION: 3.16.10

THE WEEK OF MARCH 16TH 2010

GROUP EDITED by: TROY ANDERSON

DVD/BR SECTION by: Troy Anderson

SOUTH PARK: THE COMPLETE THIRTEENTH SEASON
Showrunners: Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Comedy Central/Paramount

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

Special Features

South Park had an odd year in 2009. For every genius moment involving the Japanese and rednecks, you had a Kanye West joke that never fucking ended. In a review for another site, I brought up the fact that there weren’t any mini-commentaries. Turns out that they’re on the disc, you just have to do a lot of bullshit in other menus to bring them up. Hopefully, the Blu-Ray handles this better. For those people that played the XBLA Tower Defense game, there’s some codes for the game included in the release. But, I haven’t been able to find them yet.

TWILIGHT: NEW MOON
d. Chris Weitz

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

Special Features

Twilight: New Moon doesn’t officially arrive until the wee hours of Friday Night/Saturday Morning. When you do show up for the release, you’ll find the dregs of Lane Bryant brought into the light. Plus, you might get lucky and find me chatting with these fanpires. Never before and possibly never again will America see so bizarre of a fad. Yeah, I’m throwing the gauntlet down. Indian Werewolves with unnatural slave-like devotion to obsessive white chicks lusting after pale latent homosexuals. I have to admire America’s desire to embrace the odd. Hell, that’s before you even tackle the Anti-Catholicism present in the movie. I love this bitch goddess of a country.

BREAKING BAD: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON
c. Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn and Dean Norris

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

Special Features

• Cast and Crew Commentaries
• Deleted Scenes
• Inside Breaking Bad – 13 Featurettes About The Making of Each Episode
• Season 1 Recap
• Walt’s Warning Featurette
• “Negro y Azul” Music Video
• “Better Call Saul” Commercial
• 11 Behind-the-Scenes Featurettes
• Cop Talk with Dean Norris
• Gag Reel
• 6 Breaking Bad Original Webisodes
• Season 3 Sneak Peek
• Vince Gilligan’s Photo Gallery

Breaking Bad has made meth entertaining for me. Well, it’s made it entertaining again. Bryan Cranston has gone a long way to reinvent himself from his sitcom days. But, I admire his desire to not invoke the meth stereotypes of old. He doesn’t sample his wares and he has most of his teeth. That puts him on par with Mickey Rourke’s character from Spun. Will he get Brittany Murphy bad? Did you see Spun? I feel like I can’t talk about Breaking Bad without bringing up Spun. Meth hardly gets the media focus that crack got. I guess that’s because you don’t see the Liberal Media taking money from the Meth lobby. In conclusion, watch Breaking Bad.

ARMORED
c. Columbus Short, Jean Reno, Skeet Ulrich, Matt Dillon, Fred Ward

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Special Features

Armored is a great low-rent movie. You used to see Larry Cohen direct movies like this. But, all that he gets is the pity development of scripts that he wrote decades ago. I bet that Larry Cohen would’ve directed the hell out of this movie. I don’t know why people are still trying to turn Columbus Short into a star. An actor of his caliber can’t help but get blown out of the room when compared to a Fred Ward or a Jean Reno.

VIDEO GAMES

section by: Justin Clark and SCOTT!

GOD OF WAR III
Sony Santa Monica
PS3
Release Date: 3/16
MSRP: $59.99

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

The last year or so has been a really good time to be a PS3 owner. The big black Foreman grill that could got the exclusive attention it desperately needed. But it’s all been foreplay leading up to the big dance. Three years in the making, the last fight for the Ghost of Sparta probably isn’t going to change gaming as we know it. It’s not going to be the kind of transcendent gameplay experience critics and the gaming-is-art crowd end up needing a change of shorts over. Hell, it probably won’t even change anyone’s mind on Quick Time Events. But it will allow you to casually skullfuck the Greek pantheon into horrified, quivering submission at 60 frames a second, and give you Trophies for it. That’s really all a man needs in his gaming, isn’t it? Besides the lamentation of women as a custom soundtrack, that is.

This game shows up just in time to cure the collective blue balls that Dante’s Inferno gave everyone. Kratos, star of God of War
and orgyfan extraordinaire spends an entire game climbing a mountain to
murder everything in his path. The reviews are in, all are glowing. If
you’re a Playstation 3 owner and you don’t plan on picking this game
up, what’s your excuse?

POKEMON HEARTGOLD/SOULSILVER
Nintendo
Nintendo DS
Release Date: 3/14
MSRP: $39.99

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

Somewhere out there, someone over the age of 12 still cares about this series, and I will take great, immense pleasure in avoiding this person as long as I live. Nevertheless, they exist, and for them, let it never be said Nintendo doesn’t try to keep things interesting. Besides smacking these remakes of Gold and Silver up with more pretty, there’s a new feature where a Pokemon can be carried around with you in an actual, specialized plastic Pokeball, and gain experience by simply walking around with them. Course, all this does it make me realize how much I miss the Dreamcast, and wish someone had done more with the VMUs than they did. Then I remember this game’s target audience wasn’t even born when the Dreamcast was around. Then I cry into a bottle of Jack for two hours in a corner.

OTHER GAMES OF INTEREST

• Resonance of Fate (Sega; Xbox 360, PS3; 3/16)

Originally named after an Asimov novel, the American localization team
at Sega put the game through the Castlevania Subtitle Filter and came
up with Resonance of Fate. TriAce, the crew behind last year’s Star Ocean console game, came up with this semi-real-time RPG where stylishly-dressed characters do a bunch of crazy gunplay, Parasite Eve-style. The game is directed by Takayuki Suguro, one of masterminds behind the PSone’s excellent Vagrant Story. Burnt out on Final Fantasy? Judging by the game’s gameplay style and release date, it looks like TriAce is looking to whet your appetite.

• Command & Conquer 4: Tiberian Twilight (EA; PC; 3/16)

EA seems to be taking great strides in making this entry the most
accessible one yet. It appears they’re transplanting a few MMO aspects
into the RTS and even a little Team Fortress with some
simple, support classes to make the newbies feel special in online
co-op. Sadly, the wonderfully cheesy FMV cutscenes are no longer filled
with fanwanking b-listers like Tricia Helfer and The Ironside (though
Joe Kucan rears his shiny, shiny head as Kane). Don’t worry, C&C fans: the depth is still there, just not as evident to newcomers that are barely scratching the surface.

• Metro 2033 (THQ; Xbox 360, Windows; 3/16)

Based on a science fiction novel by Dmitry Glukhovsky, Metro 2033
is a first person shooter that takes place almost entirely in
post-apocalyptic Russia’s subway system. Not only are there mutants
plaguing the metro, there are also Communists and Nazis duking it out.
THQ is really swinging for the fences here. With it being a
subterranean locale, there will be stealth segments (ugh), aided by a
device that tells you how much shadow cover you have (double ugh). But
don’t put your copy of Modern Warfare 2 in the microwave just yet, this one is multiplayer-free.

OOOH: ON THE DLC TIP

PERFECT DARK
Rare/4J Studios
XBox Live Arcade
Release Date: 3/17
800 MS Points

Gamers have long theorized, with a fresh coat of HD paint, and a framerate that didn’t turn the game into a Powerpoint, Perfect Dark on the N64 would be one of, if not the greatest console FPS ever made. This week, we get to find out. 4J Studios, who handled the two Banjo Kazooie ports for XBL, are now caretakers of gaming legend. Screwing this doesn’t just mean bad reviews. There might be crucifixions.

DRAGON AGE ORIGINS: AWAKENING
EA
XBox 360, PS3, PC
3200 MS Points/PSN and Retail: $39.99

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

Last Fall, my love of Bioware fought a war with my aversion to medieval fantasy, and the latter won, leading me to pass this game up when it released. While Mass Effect 2 was waiting with open arms to comfort me in my time of confusion, I still have the occasional pang of regret, and this expansion pack isn’t going to make that regret fade away any faster. Instead of the IV drip of constant content ME2‘s Cerberus Network has provided, Awakening is a good old fashioned expansion, providing hours of new story, side missions, spells, a higher level cap, the works. They were even nice enough to provide a retail version on all systems to those poor insufferable bastards without online in this day and age.

ROCK BAND TUESDAY

Lady Gaga Pack 01 ($6.99/560 MS Points)

    * Poker Face
    * Monster
    * Bad Romance
    * Just Dance
    * Poker Face (South Park version)

Three Doors Down – It’s Not My Time
The Subways – Oh Yeah
The Subways – Rock & Roll Queen
MuteMath – Control

(individual tracks are $1.99/160 MS points each)

I was doing a perfectly good job not drinking the Black Blood of Gaga like everyone else seems to at some point, until Alex Riviello, the jackass, decided to link to that Telephone video, leading me to spend 2 hours on YouTube in the company of this  walking art project, then trying to pretend I wasn’t singing Bad Romance at breakfast the next morning. Unfortunately, it seems our paths will collide yet again as Lady Gaga makes her way to my beloved Rock Band next week. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. One, making concessions to Harmonix’s corporate masters (MTV/Viacom) keeps them in business. Two, some of the most fun tracks in the game come from the strange, unexpected places (1,119 tracks to download, and the Dixie Chicks’ Sin Wagon is still the most fun to be had in all of them). And three, most importantly, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUY IT. But, try telling that to the people already whining about how the game’s become Pop Band and how the Lady Gaga pack caused AIDS, hates black people, rapes babies, and drinks kitten blood. But that’s okay. I’m sure they’ll have their hands full with all the actual mediocre “rock” music coming next week, too.

MUSIC

section by: Jeb Delia

THE BIG TO-DO
Drive-By Truckers
ATO Records

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

After a busy year of side projects and
reissues, DBT return with what they claim will be their biggest,
loudest slab of guitar-driven noise since Southern Rock Opera,
which makes some sense: much as I loved 2008’s Brighter Than
Creation’s Dark, Shonna Tucker’s writing isn’t yet making
us forget departed ex-hubby Jason Isbell, and the band seemed to be
feeling their way back to the balance between Patterson Hood’s
gritty tall tales and Mike Cooley’s more elliptical
down-and-outers. First single, “This Fucking Job,” says they’re
off to a good start.

UNDER GREAT WHITE NORTHERN LIGHTS
The White Stripes

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LIVE ON LANSDOWNE, BOSTON MA

Dropkick Murphys

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Hard to imagine a more
self-recommending album than a Dropkick Murphys live set released in
time for St. Paddy’s day, with CD and bonus DVD included. Not
subtle, but not stupid either, Dropkick Murphys love to play the
fool, but play it loud enough that you get pulled up short when you
start to listen to the words on songs like “Wicked Sensitive Crew,”
“Never Forget,” or “Tomorrow’s Industry”… none of which,
I note, are on this set. But they do bring out The Mighty Mighty
Bosstones for “I’m Shipping Up To Boston,” which may or may not
have you tingling in anticipation. I continue to believe that at
least taking a stab at actual melodies wouldn’t do this band’s
vocals any harm, but if unstoppable energy is your pint of choice,
well then, take off your coat and grease your throat to “Kiss Me,
I’m Shitfaced.”

REV. GARY DAVIS AT HOME & CHURCH (1962-1967)
Rev. Gary Davis

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT AT AMAZON!

3-CD treasure trove of previously
unissued material by legendary folk bluesman Reverend Gary Davis,
recorded by guitar teacher/historian Stefan Grossman in the 60’s,
when he was taking lessons from the then nearly 70-year-old Davis.
Two disks are songs performed in the living room of Davis’ Bronx
tenement; the third contains a live church service with Davis both
preaching and playing to an enthusiastic congregation. The sound is
good to excellent mono, the groove and spirit unmistakeable. Theme
for an economic meltdown: “Save Up Your Money, John D. Rockefeller,
Put the Panic On.”

Other noteworthy 3/16 music releases:

Armored Saint: La Raza.
How can we miss you if you won’t go away…?

Coraline: Original
Off-Broadway Cast Recording. I’ll bet you can find this at
Hot Topic.

Ella Fitzgerald: Best of
“Twelve Nights in Hollywood.” Red-hot vocals at a cool
nightclub. How cool? Fonzie cool.

Gilberto Gil: Bandadois.
Actually, that’s not Spanish, it’s Portuguese. Goes down
smooth either way.

Flobots: Survival Story.
“Defending Atlantis” so Donovan doesn’t have to.

Mannish Boys: Shake For Me.
Should hold you over till the next Robert Cray album.

Graham Parker: Imaginary
Television. Still angry, not quite so young. “It’s My Party
(But I Won’t Cry)” is actually pretty funny.

The Runaways: The Mercury Albums
Anthology. These are the originals, but the soundtrack will be
cheaper.

Ralph Towner and Paolo Fresu:
Chiaroscuro. Acoustic guitar, trumpet, melodies that haunt.

Whigs: In The Dark Says here
the album has layers, captures their onstage passion, girls go wild,
etc. It’s indie rock, innit?

———————————————–

NEW RELEASES

*Blu-Ray prices are in BOLD BLUE

The Princess and The Frog                                       $16.99 $22.99 $26.99
Twilight: New Moon                                                $19.99  $24.99  $29.99
South Park: The Complete 13th Season                   $29.99   $37.99
Astro Boy                                                               $19.99   $26.99
Ninja Assassin                                                        $17.99   $24.99   
The Fourth Kind                                                    $19.99   $24.99   
Armored                                                                $19.99   $25.99   
Did You Hear About the Morgans?                        $19.99   $24.99   
Twilight in Forks                                                     $14.99
Bandslam                                                               $19.99

$4.99 DVD Sale

Robsessed
Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix
Underworld
Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
Starship Troopers
Resident Evil: Extinction
30 Days of Night
The Covenant
Napoleon Dynamite
Blue Crush
Legally Blonde
Son of Rambow
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Best Buy/Amazon Video Games Sale Update

Save $10 when you buy God of War III and God of War Collection together at Best Buy
Also at Best Buy: Assassin’s Creed II is $29.99 (PS3/360)
Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver are $32.54 at Amazon.