I figured in addition to the large List of Dumb
columns that run a couple of times a month it’d be good to give folks a
daily dose, since there’s absolutely no shortage of dumb shit out there
in the world. Help keep this thing going by sending your DUMBS to me
through THIS LINK.
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11/18 – “You grab her right leg and I’ll grab her left leg.”


Photo by Nick Nunziata.

We have a meeting for everything these days. This is excessive.

Personally I think Ashley’s just the right amount of wide. We’re always rushing people instead of letting them attain their destiny. What’s the hurry? I mean, a few extra visits to the Golden Corral, a few skipped Jazzercise classes, and life as an American should get Ashley to a nice girth in no time. We should all take a cue from Sam Elliott and slow the fuck down lest life pass us by.

Then again, if we’re too narrow it just might. So, disregard the above.