All right, stop your grinning, and drop you linen.

I WON’T TRY TO FIGHT IN THE WEEKEND WARS

Jesus, I can’t believe I’ve seen two of the movies coming out this weekend beforehand. That hasn’t happen in a couple of weeks. For shizzle.

Zombieland is coming after a number of zombie movies, most of them bad. It’s also a comedy, starring Americans, so though it may do better than Shaun of the Dead did in America in its opening weekend, make no mistake, there’s no comparison. One is a masterpiece. But Zombieland is the first zombie film since Shaun that is really good, and the audience I saw it with ate it up (no pun intended, if that’s not too far a leap). It’s got a story, it’s got heart, a great opening credit sequence, and the jokes keep coming. The ads have been good, and I think audiences are going to respond to this early Halloween vehicle. Expect a solid opening weekend.

I didn’t see Whip It, though as I was going into see Zombieland tonight, I saw Clu Gulagher in the bathroom, and he was going to see Whip It. I invited him to come with me, but he was with his son, and fair is fair. Devin’s review of Whip It suggests that it will play to a niche audience, and to be fair, who loves foxy boxing? (don’t answer) The problem is that movies for women often don’t draw audiences, especially if they’re aimed at teenage girls. I can’t see this being an out of the box success, though Anderson Cooper interviewed Drew Barrymore about the film at the Short Stop a couple weekends back (maybe two), and so if the cameras show people dancing at the bar, I’ll be on CNN again, this time for good reasons.

I did see The Invention of Lying, and it pains me to say that it’s one of the most disappointing movies I’ve seen in a very long time. Perhaps watching it at home, the close up composition that the filmmakers went with, the heavy cameoing, the exterior shots of a town, the lack of production budget, etc. won’t be as painful, but the script was brilliant or close to it, and the film they made is something of a failure. I hate steering people away from films, but if this was a cattle drive, I’d avoid it like a deep stream.

Toy Story returns, and the question is: will it kill Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs? Likely it will. Since the run is entirely in 3-D, and there aren’t that many 3-D screens, even if the re-issue only does so-so, this is going to take most of Cloudy’s 3-D screens. People seem to like Cloudy, but I’m sure audiences will return to see Woody and Buzz, though I’m also sure that both films are going to look hella dated.

Michael Moore’s new film Capitalism: A Love Story expands to wideness, and it should be out of the top five, but show a respectable bottom growth. Heh. Heh heh. This is the sort of film that should play long, all things, and it can’t have the heat of Fahrenheit 9/11, which is a once in a lifetime thing (letting the days go by).

So let’s freeze, rock…. blow:
1. Zombieland – $16.5 Million
2. Cloudy with a Chance of Teabagging – $13 Million
3. Toy Story Re-issue – $9.5 Million
4. Whip It – $8 Million
5. The invention of Lying $6.5 Million

And then, when the weekend looks to be petering out.. skeet skeet skeet.