I thought I had allergies because I can be a snot bucket, and it’s been bad since I moved to Los Angeles. It turns out it’s the air here, which the recent fires have proven. Great.

SUMMER FLOPPIN’

The Wow, What a Studio award: Universal. Seriously. Land of the Lost and Funny People didn’t do so hot (both around $50) for how much they cost, a clear easy sell escaped them (Drag Me to Hell, doing $42 Million), and their biggest picture, Public Enemies, will scrape close to $100, but probably not make it. The problem is that it wasn’t cheap. And Bruno, well, it was Bruno, so the $60 isn’t all dickcheese. But still, they had a strong slate that got lost to less-than marketing.

The Don’t Call it a Comeback award: Year One. Though I didn’t hate the picture, the goodwill was there for a new Harold Ramis film. That the film sucked didn’t help, but both he and Jack Black were looking like they could turn their profiles around. Jack Black especially. People realized why they liked him with Tropic Thunder, that it wasn’t all bluster and sub-Belushisms. Nowadays, not so much. Kung Fu Panda 2 will be big, I’m sure.

The Parents Don’t Always Treat Their Kids Like Poop Award: Imagine That ($16 Million) and Aliens in the Attic ($24 Million). You now people got paid to make these movies, and there must have been thoughts at one point or another that these could do well. But if even children don’t respond, then there you go. I saw neither, though that’s partly because I like myself.

The Studio Dumps award: And Fox wins with:
– I Love You Beth Cooper: where her Heroes Co-star Zachary Quinto guaranteed he will be working in some capacity for quite some time, Hayden Pantierrerrere is suffering from the problem of a lot of hot/cute actresses in that it’s obvious there’s a chunk of the population that wants to have sex with her, but would rather see a nip slip than drop cash for a movie ticket.
– My Life in Ruins: Nia Vardalos keeps proving that My Big Fat Greek Wedding was a fluke.
– Post Grad: Does anyone remember that this came out less than a month ago?

The Biggest Loser award: Indie Cinema. The biggest hit was (500) Days of Summer, which is a rom-com. Next up comes a film like The Hurt Locker, which may yet still be a best picture contender, but had some heat and then fell off. Well buzzed films like Moon, In the Loop and Thirst couldn’t crack $5 Million. And even Away We Go couldn’t crack $10 Million. You could argue counter-programming are films like Inglourious Basterds and District 9, but why, to feel better about it?

It’s fair to say the biggest tentpole flop was Land of the Lost, if you want to play that game.

PREDICTIONS ON THE BUS, PREDICTIONS ON THE CAR, PREDICTIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU A SUPER-STAR

Tyler Perry has a new movie this weekend. Really? Okay. I wonder if it will feature some moralizing. I doubt it. Then there’s Sorority Row, which features Brianna Evigan. Who doesn’t remember her from her star-making performance in Step Up 2: The Streets? No one. Oh, wait, Beaks just called. He remembers. Well, that means it’ll open past $10 Million for sure. Nein! Nein! Nein! Man I still love Inglourious Basterds. I feel like something’s been made invisible…

1. I Can Do Bad All By Myself – $17.5 Million
2. Sorority Row – $13 Million
3. Whiteout – $10 Million
4. 9 – $9 Million
5. Inglourious Basterds – $7 Million

And then Sunday, I hope to wake up with no make up.