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STUDIO: Warner Home Video
MSRP: $27.98
RATED: PG-13
RUNNING TIME: 150 minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Featurette
The Pitch
A poor Indian deals with Chinese reincarnation.
The Humans
Akshay Kumar, Gordon Liu and a galaxy of Asians
The Nutshell
Sidhu spends his days cutting vegetables by the side of the road in India. He looks around and desperately hopes for a better life. What he finds is the face of Ganesh in a sliced potato. The Elephant God spud leads the young man to being proclaimed the reincarnation of a Chinese hero. Before you can raise a question about the plot, Sidhu is on a plane to go to the Great Wall of China. From there, the flick gets all Bollywood up in your ass.
Third World New World – The Latest Tax Shelter from Roger Corman
The Lowdown
Warner Brothers should be commended for taking a chance on an International film like this. Known in the Eastern world as one of the worst Bollywood films ever made, Chandni Chowk to China hits a special level of camp. When our hero Sidhu finally discovers his fate and leaves India for China, the film enters new levels of awful. There’s a few quickie musical numbers after Sidhu meets up with his translator Chopstick. This team-up turns into a side-quest to find some Eastern poon.
Sakhi is the girl of Sidhu’s lusty desires and she wants to return to China to honor her fallen relatives. Sidhu realizes that Sakhi wants nothing to do with him, which leads him to a Kung-Fu master. That’s right, kids. When you’re in China and life is getting you down, you can always got to Shao-Lin town. Gordon Liu pops up to lend the film some Chop-Socky Cinema credibility. But, it’s obvious that the one true Pai Mei is only doing the film for a paycheck.
Howard Johnson will never cross The Rising Sun Syndicate again.
The
film crashes back and forth between spoof and romantic comedy-adventure. Sidhu is an unstable hero, that would be out of place in most Bollywood features. The musical interludes aren’t earned and the China sequences feel like they belong in another motion picture. When the female lead’s twin sister shows up, it turns into a silly countdown to the finale. The action is weak and the plot is barely there. So, why watch?
The Shaw Brothers should’ve never gotten the rights to SHAZAM.
The movie is a bizarre treat for those of us that have been spoiled by such Western staples as purposeful plots and acceptable film lengths. When the music video from the film’s lead starts the end credits, you find yourself scratching your head. Sure, the film looked great. But, what the fuck did I just see? When I know, I’ll let you know. After you’ve finished the film, you can watch the deleted scenes included in the special features.
There’s always got to be one fuck-up.
The Package
There’s a ton of deleted and alternate scenes presented on the DVD. They awkwardly load off of the special features menu. If you’re watching the DVD on a PC DVD software, it’s going to have some hesitation, but it will load.