Dear Project X,

      This is really hard for me. When we first met, I was young and impressionable and you were a movie about monkeys learning to fly airplanes. I mean, what’s not to like, right? You had Ferris Bueller, video game flight simulators, and chimpanzees. I remember crying like a baby when that one monkey found the other dead monkey on the table and tried to wake it up… you see? I’m getting worked up right now just thinking about it. But over the years my tastes have begun to change and you just don’t have what I’m looking for in a film relationship anymore. I want fun and excitement, or at the very least distraction. Not depression. I know that sounds crazy, but that’s just where I am in my life. You’re simply too emotional for me and I just don’t see myself sitting down to watch you again. I’m sorry. But I do wish you all the best and I’m sure there’s someone out there that will appreciate all your dead monkeys.

Hit me back. Until next time…