DVD REVIEW: WONDER WOMAN – TWO-DISC SPECIAL EDITION

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STUDIO: Warner Brothers
MSRP: $29.98
RATED: PG-13
RUNNING TIME: 74 min
SPECIAL FEATURES:

• Commentary
• Featurettes
• Green Lantern Sneak Peek
• Bonus Cartoons

The Pitch

Amazons assist the U.S. Military in personal endeavors.

The Humans

Keri Russell, Rosario Dawson, Alfred Molina, Virginia Madsen and Nathan Fillion

The Nutshell

William Moulton Marston had issues. He liked to play Provo Pick-Up with two women and he had a pretty severe bondage fetish. In between those two hobbies, Marston created Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is an Amazonian Princess that was bestowed upon Queen Hippolyta by the god Zeus. Zeus looked upon Hippolyta with favor following the treachery of Hercules and the creatures of the Greek Underworld. Now, Hippolyta’s daughters fights in a new era to save mankind.

God…using the clouds to cover his junk since 33 AD.

The Lowdown

Wonder Woman is such an odd cultural entity. She’s always been the third leg of the DC Comics Trinity. She’s always been shown to be as powerful as Superman and as smart as Batman. But, Princess Diana has never really found that based to build a following. Take a moment to think about this. Who among you can state that they are truly fans of Wonder Woman?

DC and Warner Brothers works together like Jodie Foster and a pinball machine. Everytime a quarterly projection looks weak, WB takes DC to the local bar and goes for some full tilt boogie. In the next quarter or so, you’re going to get a quickie Green Lantern movie. This quarter, DC and WB decided to give current Wonder Woman comic book scribe Gail Simone the means to hammer out an animated film. Simone’s script provides for a decent adaptation of the first storyarc from George Perez’s Post-Crisis relaunch of Wonder Woman. Then, some suit didn’t understand and they decided to cut it to bits and try for something that would sell action figures.

Princess Diana and Steve Trevor have an interesting dynamic. The hero and her consort paired in a slight invert of the familiar damsel/hero in distress scenario. After that, it becomes very odd when returning to Man’s World. First, Diana has to win the role of Wonder Woman, so that she can become the Amazon’s ambassador. All of this happens rather quick, so you don’t have to worry about your ADD kids freaking the fucking out.

Diana becomes our titular heroine and she returns with Steve to America. There, she finds the mythological monsters of the Old World are clashing with the new. We get the standard fights that lead to our heroine and our villains coming face-to-face. Lessons are learned and identities are forged. Then, you get the end credits.

Why doesn’t Wonder Woman connect more with fans? She fulfills the typical violence lust of most comic fans. She doesn’t require too much of children to follow along her adventures. Plus, she’s a strong female character in a world defined by tight male packages. Is it the lack of a history that developed the woman outside of the powers? Honestly, I blame sexual politics. But, I’m not going to pretend to be the first person to discover that sexual identity fucked the world out of one its greatest heroes.

Superman and Batman have both tried to hit that.

The story is pretty decent, especially when you consider that current WW comic scribe Gail Simone had a hand in the script. But, I have a hard time taking a film seriously about a clay woman whose biggest feature claim is that the film is rated PG-13. If you’ve read the basic Wonder Woman mythos, you understand what’s going on. Steve Trevor crashes on Themyscira, he meets Wonder Woman and the Amazons. Princess Diana leaves her home for the first time to help Steve Trevor in the real world. There, she discovers that it’s hard out there for a two thousand year old lady made of clay.

Wonder Woman: Two-Disc Special Edition proves that Warner Brothers can squeeze DC for properties until the end of time. You get a repackage of two prior Justice League Unlimited episodes with this release. Plus, there’s enough plugs for the larger DCU Animated film line in the commentary and featurette. You’ve just got to love corporate synergy.

Louis Prima’s wife has gone to Hell.

The Package

Green Lantern sneak peek – The fellows at DC Animated have got themselves a new Green Lantern film. Sure, it’s animated and not live-action. But, you get to see a slightly unmolested version of Hal Jordan’s adventures. Thrill to the sight of Sinestro. Woo to the sounds of Pieface and Carol Ferris.

Bonus Cartoons – Bruce Timm picks out two Wonder Woman appropriate Justice League: Unlimited episodes. You get an adventure with The Viking Prince and another one that I can’t remember to save my fucking life.

Featurettes – A bunch of people you don’t know, try to make you feel bad for not buying comics that feature a female headliner. They don’t address such Wonder Woman creations such as Wonder Tot, Egg-Fu or Nubia.

Commentary – Did you ever want to hear a bunch of animators pat themselves on the back for slapping together a movie rather quickly? Nevermind the fact that most of their designs look like they were lifted from a bunch of Peter Chung clones.

Who the fuck is still giving Peter Chung work?

7.3 out of 10